Goodie Two Shoes Syndrome?
Hot Topics — By browngirlmag on October 4, 2008 at 10:58 amEver felt the pressure to be good? As a South Asian woman, many of us have been told that we’re “innocent” or “sheltered”. And when we actually do break out, and have a little fun, then it comes as a shock to our family or friends. Can South Asian women find a balance between cultural pressures to be “good” and also be normal, everyday women just living their lives? Or are South Asian women just plain goodie-two-shoes?
What the guy says:
“It goes without saying that you can’t generalize a whole group of women as being ‘goodie two shoes’ because there is a wide spectrum on how reserved or forward South Asian girls are. There are always bound to be outliers. Some girls I have met throughout my tenure in college are more free than most of us guys! But, comparing South Asian women against other cultures of women, I would definitely say that they are more reserved which is a respectable and sought after asset.” –Survam Patel, 22, Houston, TX
What the girls say:
“I think there is a lot of pressure from our family and our culture to fit in a certain mold. If you do not, then you are looked down upon in your community. There are a lot of standard pressures that every girl in our society has, like getting married before a certain age. Because of this most females are oppressed to always behave a certain way to conform with society and please our old cultural norms.” –Saira Fatah, Houston, TX
***************
“I think there is a stigma that South Asian Girls are goodie two shoes, and because of that a lot of girls that are South Asian try to rebel to prove against this statement. Traditionally South Asian parents are more strict when compared to the typical all American parent and as a result their kids lead a more sheltered childhood. When they are left to live on their own, in say a College environment, these kids usually take advantage of the situation and let themselves go completely instead of engaging in the gradual freedom. Because of the sheltered childhood, South Asian girls are seen as “goodie two shoes” and in some cases they are, but usually it is only a stereotype in my opinion.”–Tasha Himmatramka, 23, Cincinatti, Ohio
What’s your opinion on the matter?
Tags: hot
Tweet This
Digg This
Save to delicious
Stumble it
5 Comments
what do you think? Post your response here!
I totally agree with just about every one in the fact that: we are expected to live up to so many things, act a certain way, think a certain way, dress and look a certain way.
But at the end of the day, it’s really all about YOU yourself. If you give a hoot about external pressures then eventually they will crush you. If you don’t give a hoot and do what YOU want to do (as long as it is always the RIGHT thing) – then you have nothing to worry about at all and you can go to sleep knowing that you are being true to yourself and putting yourself first before others.
lets get real, whether your a guy or a girl, you have to give a hoot about what the world thinks, after all our sense of who we are comes from those around us. Ideally, anyone can argue this point but in reality we try to become what others expect from us, whether its our parents, teachers, managers, friends or that sig. other. The stereotype, as pointed out about pressure to get married early, or the expecation of being a nurturing mothers and a respectfull daughters just goes to show the ignorance many women have growing up. All of these things have little or nothing to do with the “desi” culture and none of these attributes represent a “goodie two shoes” stature. These attributes are expectations of a conservative culture and they are a bigger part of the social fabric of every major society, whether it be white, black or otherwise. These expectations stem from a conservative ideology, which is often unyielding to change and tends to be less liberal, ( being liberal ofcourse is what many of us consider to be the status quo) so to quantify these conservative values in mere terms of a lackluster bucketlist of the south asian culture is a stretch. you dont have to get drunk, party or stand up to your values to find out who you are. The key is balance, the sooner you figure it out, the better off you will be.