Blending In
Beauty and Style — By browngirlmag on February 19, 2010 at 8:27 amby Sneha Goud
I was six or seven when a fellow Indian playmate informed my skin was darker than hers because I didn’t bathe enough. Even at that age, I was aware her claims were false. But it didn’t stop me from staring at myself in a mirror when I got home that day or on all the other days I looked at my body and wished for my skin to be lighter since.
It’s no secret India isn’t the only country to prefer light-skinned women. This phenomenon is worldwide and as old as the first civilization. Those with dark skin were laborers who worked outdoors in the sun and their social status was determined accordingly.
But why now, when those rules are considered outdated, does Indian society still value light-skinned women (and men, though to a lesser extent) over darker-skinned ones?
Actresses like Shilpa Shetty and Kareena Kapoor are routinely airbrushed in magazine shoots and films. Heavy makeup and lighting covers up their true skin color. In a country where culture and history is valued, why do we insist on changing ourselves to look different from our ancestors?
The “most beautiful woman in the world” as she is dubbed by some, Aishwarya Rai, has very light skin and green eyes. She certainly does not represent a majority of Indian women.
Take a look at any Indian wedding arrangement ad on the Internet or in a newspaper – all the woman describe themselves as “fair skinned.” Everyone can’t be fair skinned, but is stretching the truth the only way to snare a husband?
I always thought I was ugly because of my skin color growing up, though my relatives assured me it would eventually lighten. My mom encouraged me to apply homemade face masks like she did while growing up to become lighter. I always brought a tube of Fair & Lovely back home when visiting India and vowed to use it every day. It never worked and I usually lost patience.
Young girls looking up to an ideal that physically cannot be achieved is damaging to their self-esteem. And skin-lightening creams have proved to be more and more dangerous. As the Internet grows are and transportation becomes easier, toxic steroid creams are becoming widely available and inexpensive, causing health problems in users not educated in their risks.
But Indian society and Indian-Americans in America are rapidly changing. There is reason to think this obsession with light skin will eventually fade. To hasten this process, I offer some suggestions:
- Embrace the cultural variety in India. Brown IS beautiful. Honor our ancestry by refusing to be ashamed of our skin color.
- Encourage the media to portray more dark-skinned women in their natural shade. Even if we can’t march into movie studios or magazine offices, take a closer look at the stars you admire and see how their appearance is altered in photographs. Write a statement denouncing airbrushing on your facebook, twitter, or blog. Technology has become a great equalizer – we can all share our opinions and important people take notice.
- Share your feelings with younger female relatives. Most of my relatives had lighter skin so I felt self-conscious in pictures. It’s always great for younger girls to have a positive female role model, especially at the tween/teen stage.
I will be waiting for the Indian community here and abroad to move away from outdated stereotypes about skin color. In the meantime, I will do my part by simply accepting my own.
Tags: fair skin, natural beauty
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7 Comments
I always got made fun of for being pale. I think everyone is looking for a way to see others as their lessers for the sake of their own insecurity. It sounds cliche but some cliche things can be made less cliche when you realize the truth behind it.
In my case; my bullet proof confidence in myself saved me from being impacted too heavily by the attempts of others to make me feel like less than I am and (more importantly) less than they.
I am reminded of the part of Half Baked where the hispanic guy quits his job at the fast food burger place. This is the attitude I give to anyone trying to play these petty games.
I too dream of a world moved away from outdated stereotypes. Maybe some stereotypes are cool: would you say that Italians are typically fond of aged cheese and pork products? Well, having sampled many foods I must say that such things enjoy multiple spots in my top 10. Not surprisingly; I hail from the Parma region of Italy, which produces Parmesan cheese – go figure!(I eat it with a knife lol ^_^Y)
Your woes are the worries of all people on Earth with deeper shades. People will continue to be unhappy with themselves as long as they believe that being darker is a curse. It’s a lie that has been made stronger than the truth. Be proud of what you look like. And don’t wait for outsiders to validate your beauty. K
Sneha, thank you for a most thoughtful piece on this very important issue facing many South Asian women. I really appreciate your courage and honesty to share your experiences. I am afraid that this is the reality that many brown-skinned women of color face due to centuries of skin color based caste systems and the ongoing cycle of self-hatred among brown people. Unfortunately, we also come from a history of colonization which exacerbated the problem. I believe it is the challenge of each woman facing this unique experience to learn to recondition her mind from these harmful societal messages so detrimental to our psyches.
In my personal experience, I am someone who was born lighter-skinned but have progressively gotten darker-skinned as I got older. I am all too aware that I do not fit the standard Indian beauty norm, but have embraced my darker complexion over the years in a more self-loving and affirmative way. Mentally, I have come to a mindset where I would not trade my skin color for anything. I am a proud Indian woman who loves the fact that my skin has been kissed by the sun. But arriving to this stance took a lot of work. It entailed blocking out the harmful beliefs that many in our community have and surrounding myself with more positive people who appreciate me and affirm my own personal sense of beauty.
You are absolutely right when you say, “Brown is beautiful.”
Shreya
I say, don’t wait around for the media to get with your program. Never mind ‘encouraging’ them to start using darker models.
If there happens to be a dark skinned actor/actress/ news anchor/ model – be vocal in his/her support.
Start a magazine or website and focus on dark skinned models or dark-skinned women non in entertainment: Maybe women who are doing well in various fields or socially conscious endeavours. I think men and women both suffer from this but highlighting women first might be a more pointed way of address this at least at first.
What irritates me is that those who benefit from this largely unattainable status such as Kaif and Rai stay silent hoping to capitalise on the impossible standards that are set while the “dusky” actresses try not to make any waves lest their mouth finally kick them out the door in a way their skin already threatened to.