Don’t be afraid to speak up

by Farah Mithani – Houston Baptist University Graduate

Choked.  Hot tears crawled down my cheeks, down to his hands.  He must have known I was begging him to let go, even though I couldn’t speak.  Fallen to my knees, the carpet felt so rough at that moment, like sandpaper. I even prayed to God for those few seconds.  It was worse than having my asthma attacks, because this was an attack that had scarred me for life.

“I hope your parents come home and find me in your apartment,” he yelled with complete rage, “f**k your family and f**k you!”

He finally let go of my throat.  Seemed as if ropes began to slowly unravel around my neck.  Numbness took over my body and I collapsed from fear.  I sobbed for hours; I don’t recall ever crying like that before, or ever again.

After jumping out my window, I could hear the anger in his shoes as he ran down the stairs.  It was that same window he smashed a week later with his bare hands.

Shaken from the incident, voice messages exploded my phone from loving to hatred and emotionally abusive words.  As a teenager, worried that my parents would probably hate me forever I kept it a secret for a while.  It started to eat me up inside, holding on to such a threatening situation.

Don’t be afraid to speak up.

I finally got the courage to tell my mom about what happened that day a few weeks later with the help of two classmates. I didn’t realize at the time that this was a bad thing.  I kept letting him, my first “boyfriend,” abuse me emotionally, thinking it was normal.  It is definitely not normal.  When I told my mom, she reacted in a complete opposite manner than I expected.  I thought there was hatred inside of her ready to burst out, but all she did was love me even more.

According to American Bar Association- Commission on Domestic Violence, approximately 1.3 million women are physically assaulted by a partner in the United States annually. In 1993, a Canadian study showed 77% of college women being emotionally abused with a combination of physical abuse from their dating partner.  Unhealthy relationships usually develop as a young teen in high school.  Much of the abuse, whether emotional, physical, or sexual, will occur in their homes.

The hardest part is taking the first step to get help.  If you or someone you know is hurting physically or emotionally, don’t be afraid; let someone know.  Here are somethings you can do for yourself or someone you know who is in an abusive relationship: visiting school counselors, reaching out to organizations like Saheli (http://www.saheli-austin.org),  National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-SAFE), or just speak to your family/friends to get help.  No matter what happens, there is always someone there to help you.