by Nadya Agrawal – UCLA
Not gonna lie, I have been told, on more than one occasion, that I am beautiful. This is always instantly backed up with a “You’re so exotic!”
…
Uh, mood-ruiner much?
Why is it that South Asians, and South Asian girls in particular, are complimented through a telescope like this? Are we only attractive because we have browner skin, bigger eyes, and darker hair than our Caucasian peers? That does not seem quite right. For a country boasting a series of global pageant winners and Anchal Josephs from cycle 7 of ANTM, I must say we got it going on. I do not think for a second that the Miss Universe judging panel gave Sushmita Sen or Lara Dutta their respective crowns just because they have gorgeous coffee-colored skin. It has to be that our collective beauty transcends our immediate “exotic” looks. Otherwise, these awards and recognitions are worth nothing – they would be like a handout or a pat on the back for existing. South Asian beauty should not be seen as simply exotic; that reduces it. Every country has gorgeous women with ethnic looks, but that does not mean that is where their physical beauty ends.
I am not necessarily talking about typecasting our favorite South Asian actresses, because that’s a double-edged sword. I mean, it is both commendable for a South Asian actress to be part of mostly white cast, and yet it is strangely ignorant for a character of obvious South Asian descent to have a highly Westernized name and back-story, think Rebecca Logan from Greek, played by Dilshad Vadsaria. In this case she was not cast the role based on her skin color, but rather her unquestionable good looks. At the same time, it does get tiring to see gorgeous girls like Freida Pinto constantly sequestered into purely “brown” roles (apparently she is set to play an Arabian princess in her next movie… seriously, Hollywood?). I think, in the long run, it hampers progress to limit attractive brown actresses to either only attractive, yet color-blind, roles or to simply typecasted roles. It is a difficult line to toe, and I am fully aware that qualms about color will rarely be fully alleviated in the movie industry, but it would be nice if they would at least try to do us brown girls justice.
And to bring it back to the awkward elephant in the room, “brown fetish” bothers me so much. For those who say they love brown girls, or, rather, for those who say we are “exotic,” I have to wonder where they picked up that word. I feel like I should have heard it more on the Discovery Channel than I should have when describing a person. It is a silly word used to put rain forests, bright colors, dark skin, and toucans all in a neat, pretty box tied with a neat, pretty ribbon. It does nothing to get at the inner beauty that Western society loves to place on a pedestal. And it almost sounds demeaning as though we of the almond eyes and golden skin are something out of an encyclopedia rather than present in every nook and cranny of American life. So, to say you love brown girls, and you love how exotic they are, is to dismiss all of it – the history, the culture, the sizzling good looks – with a dumb phrase.
South Asians are gorgeous. It is a fact. But that does not mean the simple label of “exotic” is gonna fly. South Asia is not a fetish for our paler-skinned peers. This is a culture extending back thousands of years and a culture that encompasses the world with its diasporas. It is over a billion strong, so take back that “You’re so exotic!” This is pure, all-natural, coffee-colored, tragically progressive beauty. There ain’t nothing type-castable about it.
This lady knows what I’m talking about:

Love this beyond belief
This is a fantastic post.
Thanks for the sweet comments guys! Also, shout out to whoever did the graphic – I love it!
Very well written! The poem tops it off nicely.
I couldn’t agree more!
So glad you wrote this! Can we talk about the guys who mention the Kama Sutra as if it were an appropriate first conversation topic ever?
I totally love that you used the “brown fetish” idea because that just happened us a few weeks ago. Great Post!
mm, yes, brown girls are “kama sutronic.”
I love this
so true in so many ways!
Such a fantastic article! The poem was the perfect ‘cherry on top’ if you will.
Although I agree with 90% of this post, I do have to say that personally, I never took being called “exotic” as a anything less than beautiful or pretty. To a certain extent, I embraced it, because lets face it- we do stand out, and there is nothing wrong with pointing that out. However, as this post points out, when there are lines drawn based on color of our exoticness, I start feeling limited and suddenly the odd (wo)man out.
You know what’s kind of interesting, wherever I am people assume I am one of them. If I am in Italy I’m Italian, in Mexico, Mexican, Even in Israel, people assumed I was Israeli and then I think Nicole Sherzinger looks more Indian then most of the Indian actresses. I think our beauty if very diverse. Its interesting we should be called “exotic” . OBTW check out my site for interesting bollywood t-shirts. Let me know if I hit the spot. http://www.zazzle.com/bowllywood
As a man who often finds himself in the position of an ethno-fetishist, I find this article both informative and divisive. I don’t necessarily understand what it is about women outside my ethnicity and/or nationality (European Caucasian American) that appeals to me, so I’m always interested in reading more on the subject. I can say that in my own defense and the defense of many others who share my proclivity, the writer’s complaint about the too-frequent ignorance of her culture in using the term “exotic” is wrong. It is, for many of us, the very fact that women of other ethnicities HAVE a strong cultural identity that makes them more attractive. I’m Scottish, Irish, French, Dutch, English, Cornish, and Welsh. I have so many diverse ancestries that it’s hard to identify with one. Even if I wanted to, the fact is that I’m culturally American, which is a fairly generic culture that’s constantly in flux anyway. I find it personally attractive when a woman has a strong cultural identity, and I suspect this is the case for many other ethno-fetishists. This is to say nothing of the fact that many guys, well-meaning though they may be, have an underdeveloped vocabulary and fall back on the word “exotic” because they can’t think of a better word. Now of course you want a guy who’s got a brain in his head and who can think of a more eloquent way to describe your beauty. But when part of the appeal is that you don’t look like that guy, word choice options are limited. And like it or not, one reason that ethno-fetishists exist is because we have a preference for people who don’t look like us. Is there a better way to say that? Probably. “You’re beautiful! And I’m so xenomorphically attracted to your diversity!” Okay, bad example…
I agree with you to some degree about the things you’ve said in this article. But here’s the thing – and I’m only speaking for myself. I have olive colored skin, dark brown hair and hazel eyes. I’m also 5’9 – so complete strangers think it’s perfectly acceptable to discuss with me whether or not both my parents are Indian, whether I was adopted, and other possible reasons I don’t look Indian. So if it confuses people, and they want to come up with exotic, I’ll take it as a compliment and go on my way.
I could not agree with this post more. I honestly thought I was going crazy when I didn’t feel flattered at getting called ‘exotic’ or ‘mysterious’. It just never felt right.
I do also agree with you,Vijaya, take the compliment and leave. Sure it’s a compliment nonetheless- but it bothers me- is that all they see?
I’m sorry but I m much more than just an Indian girl. There’s a lot more to me, in fact.
anyway I can sit here criticizing males all day but I’ll stop now. Great post! and I just reposted that video on my facebook.
BTW can I say the worst commendation by far is- oh you’re good looking for an Indian girl. UGHHHHH SEERIOUSLY???? that’s not a compliment!!!
Great article! Something that I’ve felt so many times, but wasn’t quite sure about how to articulate. I moved to the US from Pakistan around 2 years ago, and ever since then I’ve been dealing with the whole ‘you’re so exotic’ thing. Just a few days ago in one of my classes, an acquaintance of mine said to me ‘I think you’re beautiful! With you’re exotic name, and exotic beauty!’ She said this smiling, with a fake South Asian accent. Uh, thanks for making me feel like part of museum exhibit!!!
I don’t even feel comfortable with people replying with ‘that’s so beautiful’ each time they hear my name. Just because it’s not an ‘American’ name, it doesn’t mean it’s ‘BEAUTIFUL’. How would people react if I tell someone called ‘Jane’ or ‘Mark’ that her/his name is beautiful?