Ey, Chammak Chalo

by Nadya Agrawal – UCLA

 

In response to Akon’s new song “Chammak Chalo” for the upcoming Bollywood film Ra One.

 

Ey, Chammak Chalo

My beyootiful girl with the almond eyes

And red scarf

With those kickin curves, you got my heart

Filled with sand of your distant land

Ima rap at choo shorty, meri pyaari jaan

Meri chammak chalo, talking loud and slow

 

——

 

Watchu think, boo, you gonna win me over with a song?

As though I was waiting on the street corner for you

To sweet talk me with my own tongue?

I was just playing with the bells on my ankles, hoping you’d drive up

Smooth and slow, whispering “Ey, wanna be my Chammak Chalo?”

You know me, I swoon at that

Quick, catch me before I trip over

My sari hem.  Can’t be having that.

Don’t let me breathe into your face, who knows how spicy I taste

I might just set you on fire with the curry I had last night.

 

You ain’t gonna see me bubblin’ quietly,

 

Under the surface and all that shit

I feel like raging like a goddess on fire

Kali a flame and Durga dancing on a pyre

And don’t think you gotta save me from some primeval sati ritual

Where Ima sacrifice myself for your after life – I don’t need you to say

“Baby, just be my wife, we don’t need those traditions

we’ll make our own life far away from this barbarism”

As you casually take my pay and insist I stay at home all day

Like a good Hindu wife, growing fat on burnt rice

Fuck that shit, ima do me

And I don’t care what you do with you.

 

So call me Chammak Chalo one more time, big daddy

Stroke my silk and tug on my scarf

See what I do, see how I blaze

This chai pot’s gonna boil over, my bangles will break

I’ll come at you with all I got

And you’ll see Shiva’s third eye in my bindi dot

 

—–

 

Punjabi girl with those long lashes

Bombay chick in those fillum flashes

Where you go, baby, I’m gonna follow

Ey, Chammak Chalo, beating the dhol hard and slow

Raise the volume, zore se bolo, you gonna be my Chammak Chalo?

 

 

NO.