by Nadya Agrawal – UCLA
In response to Akon’s new song “Chammak Chalo” for the upcoming Bollywood film Ra One.
Ey, Chammak Chalo
My beyootiful girl with the almond eyes
And red scarf
With those kickin curves, you got my heart
Filled with sand of your distant land
Ima rap at choo shorty, meri pyaari jaan
Meri chammak chalo, talking loud and slow
Watchu think, boo, you gonna win me over with a song?
As though I was waiting on the street corner for you
To sweet talk me with my own tongue?
I was just playing with the bells on my ankles, hoping you’d drive up
Smooth and slow, whispering “Ey, wanna be my Chammak Chalo?”
You know me, I swoon at that
Quick, catch me before I trip over
My sari hem. Can’t be having that.
Don’t let me breathe into your face, who knows how spicy I taste
I might just set you on fire with the curry I had last night.
You ain’t gonna see me bubblin’ quietly,
Under the surface and all that shit
I feel like raging like a goddess on fire
Kali a flame and Durga dancing on a pyre
And don’t think you gotta save me from some primeval sati ritual
Where Ima sacrifice myself for your after life – I don’t need you to say
“Baby, just be my wife, we don’t need those traditions
we’ll make our own life far away from this barbarism”
As you casually take my pay and insist I stay at home all day
Like a good Hindu wife, growing fat on burnt rice
Fuck that shit, ima do me
And I don’t care what you do with you.
So call me Chammak Chalo one more time, big daddy
Stroke my silk and tug on my scarf
See what I do, see how I blaze
This chai pot’s gonna boil over, my bangles will break
I’ll come at you with all I got
And you’ll see Shiva’s third eye in my bindi dot
Punjabi girl with those long lashes
Bombay chick in those fillum flashes
Where you go, baby, I’m gonna follow
Ey, Chammak Chalo, beating the dhol hard and slow
Raise the volume, zore se bolo, you gonna be my Chammak Chalo?