City Year is an education based non-profit organization that takes 17-24 year old young adults from all over the country and gives them the opportunity to serve in inner city schools with at-risk youth. With specialized small group and one on one interventions in Math and English, we aim to help reduce the drop out rate. (The views and opinions below do not reflect City Year or Americorps.)

“Yup in my white tee, name tag so you know me I got spirit you can hear it, and a smile for a while…”  As my team hollers our readiness check at the top of our lungs while the sun sleepily rises around us encircling our school in a goldish halo, I can’t help but feel a profound gratitude for where I am in my life.

City Year San Antonio has been the biggest blessing in my life, but it has also been the hardest commitment I have ever made.  I first heard about City Year from a friend of mine that had taken on a year of service in New York. Intrigued, I perused the site (www.cityyear.org) and decided right then and there I had to apply. I applied, got in, and made my merry way to San Antonio, but I had no idea what I had just gotten myself into. After I arrived in San Antonio, myself and the other 80 new corps members from different parts of the country came together at the historical Barbara Jordon Community Center in the Eastside of San Antonio for Basic Training Academy. Whilst at BTA we were put through two weeks of intensive training and ice breakers. We were trained in math and English tutoring, behavior modification, working with children, and the social, emotional, and psychological needs of students. We were also forced out of our comfort zones to meet and get to know a room full of strangers, share personal stories, and create a bond that has become the foundation for all the corps feels and accomplishes. A lot of the trainings were frustrating because they were so abstract, but little did I know how useful they would really be.

Most of the students I work with have little to no consistency in their lives. They come from homes where one or both parents are missing or are just generally unavailable. There is this mentality that many of my students cling on to of being ‘tough’. Their surroundings force them to grow up too early, and many of my 11-13 year old students already have gang affiliations and know more about drugs then I could ever imagine was possible. They live in areas where crime is rampant, education is an option, and diversity is non-existent. With that said, my students are my pride and joy.  They are unbelievably intelligent, excel at sports, and have amazing insight into the world around them.  They make the long hours, the constant hard work, the unending planning and executing worth it.  All my students need is someone to listen to them, someone to believe in them, someone to tell them that they are worth something and that their opinion matters. City Year has blessed me with that opportunity. I am able to wake up every morning at obscenely early hours and saunter into work with a smile on my face because I know that what I am doing matters.

City Year’s methods are proven to help increase attendance in schools, decrease behavioral problems, and increase students’ grades with our 1:1 and small group intervention methods.  This is because City Year is incredibly data driven and we track all the time spent with students and our intervention methods. That way, we can talk to other sites and trade best practices. Corps members receive training in how to effectively teach and tutor material that is imperative for students and we have the freedom to implement our methods in fun and creative ways that allow our students to understand that learning is fun and does not have to be monotonous or a chore. Corps members run before and after school clubs and tutoring for students and we also have lunch clubs.  Not only do corps members aim to increase students’ educational opportunities by providing the necessary tools, City Year also focuses on community betterment via community events like block parties, game nights, parent engagement activities.

I could talk about City Year all day every day, and not just because of the work that I do, but also because of the people I have met. I came into City Year thinking I was going to impact people and change lives, but because of the opportunity I was fortunate enough to receive, my life is changed every. single. day. I learn something new from the people around me, I’m taught to breakdown social and economical barriers because of where I serve, and most importantly, I am finding myself. When I am older and I look back on my life, I can say with certainty that City Year will be my biggest accomplishment, and my most difficult endeavor in life.

]]> http://browngirlmagazine.com/2011/12/my-city-year/feed/ 0 http://browngirlmagazine.com/2011/09/qa-with-maria-ebrahimji/ http://browngirlmagazine.com/2011/09/qa-with-maria-ebrahimji/#comments Wed, 14 Sep 2011 16:02:14 +0000 browngirlmag http://browngirlmagazine.com/?p=4141 by Alisha Ebrahimji – Texas State University

I know I’ve mentioned in my previous stories, my cousin, Maria Ebrahimji. I interviewed her recently in hopes of spreading some of her journalistic wisdom to all those aspiring journalists out there. Maria is not only my cousin but also my professional inspiration and guide. She has demonstrated that with hard work and aspirations, anything is possible. 

As the Executive Editorial Producer for CNN, Maria is in charge of organizing guest coverage and planning for the network’s various events and breaking news. She has been working with CNN for 12 years.  So, here’s a peek into the life of a South Asian Journalist:

AE: Three words to describe you would be…

ME: I have been told I’m energetic, ambitious, and loyal.

AE: What are your favorite South Asian movies?

ME: It is safe to say I am not a Bollywood fan, but I did love the movie Laagan, Black, and of course who didn’t love Slumdog and Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge!

AE: Tell us something most people do not know about you.

ME:  I hate board games.

AE: We did a story at BG about the book you co-authored, “I Speak for Myself,” what was your initiative in compiling this book and what kind of feedback, positive and negative have you received from it?

ME:  I was the co-editor of the I Speak for Myself , along with Zahra Suratwala. The book was a tremendous personal adventure for me (one which I am still on!).  We have gotten so many responses on our social media pages regarding the book and the stories in it.  The feedback has been overwhelmingly positive. From Muslim women, we’ve heard that finally they feel like their voices are illuminated in the space of literature, that their real stories are represented. From non-Muslims, we’ve gotten very interesting feedback about how much one can relate to all of us in our own humanity and as women. I think also, that people (Muslim and otherwise) all take away something different from reading the essays and learn something different too. What has been really joyful and fulfilling for me is to see the kinds of conversations happening with this book across the country. I can only hope that the dialogue will extend around the world as well!

AE: In college, what was the most valuable thing you learned?

ME: I attended a small women’s college (Brenau Women’s College/University in Gainesville, GA). The most important thing I learned while at Brenau was to embrace myself, my background, and my identity.  That, and the simple but often unacknowledged or underappreciated concept that all things are a possible.

AE: In your 12-year tenure at CNN, what has been your most memorable experience/ most interesting assignment?

ME:  I have had so many amazing adventures and stories I’ve covered while here.  Covering 9/11 from Atlanta while still very young and unseasoned as a journalist was illuminating both personally and professionally.

Some of the best assignments I’ve gone on have all been overseas (where I was able to fully embrace my passion for international news). Those include producing a town hall meeting on the “New South Africa” at the church in Soweto, where the site of the uprisings and burnings that happened during the apartheid era.  Being there to discuss how far South Africa had come post-apartheid made me feel like I was a part of a conversation about a country which had so much history and so much more to give the world in terms of leadership by example and what real reconciliation means.  

Another interesting program I produced was on the sidelines of the annual World Economic Forum in Davos, Switzerland in 2005. The program I produced consisted of current and emerging leaders in the Arab world. On the emerging leaders panel I had both Saif Al Ghadafi as well as Gamal Mubarak. Who would have thought back then that they wouldn’t be the “emerging” leaders of their respective countries! Just goes to show a lot can change in 6 years.

AE: As a Muslim- American women, has your journey through your professional career caused any issues?

ME:  I have always felt respected and valued in my profession. Of course, like anyone, I often see stories that have personal interest to me because of my faith, and tend to want to weigh in on those more. I view my role at CNN as an empowering one. I have the ability to change people’s point of view on Islam and to educate while I continue to do good journalism, and that is gratifying and fulfilling to me.

AE: What is one piece of advice you can give for those who are pursuing a career in Journalism?

ME: Be true to yourself. Bring your authentic self to work. I am a true believe that journalism doesn’t need to be this diluted process in which you come at any and every story with a completely unaware point of view.  I think every journalist has a point of REFERENCE and that orientation (if disclosed and made transparent and relatable) is something that all readers/viewers can appreciate b/c it helps bring context and perspective to our reporting.  

I would also encourage every journalist-to-be to consider being something “else”- and by that, I mean, get a minor in history or a double major in psychology or engineering or business.  I think good journalists are people who are curious about life and the world around them.  I think GREAT journalist are those that are curious about life and the world around them AND who have knowledge and passion about other things that can help serve as a point of reference in what they are doing.

AE: What’s the next step for you? Where do you see yourself in 5 more years?

ME:  Happy, challenged, and having demonstrated accomplishment in everything I’ve been able to be a part of.

AE: If you could be a fruit, which one would you be and why?

ME:  A green apple. I love eating them, smelling them, and more importantly they look great on a coffee table. 

This summer, I am doing something I have never done before. I am working in an office 9am to 5pm five days a week. Sitting in a chair and staring at a computer screen for seven hours a day has taken some getting used to. Besides the initial restlessness, this new sedentary lifestyle was making me sluggish and hurting my back. I experimented with some techniques and exercises to keep me pain free and energetic. I even found a few great work out exercises to do at my desk to keep my core activated and my muscles working.

Staying pain free

1. Adjust your computer. Fix the monitor and keyboard so you don’t have to lean forward or stretch your arms too far to read and type. You want to be able to sit erect at all times.

2. Do not use the backrest in your chair. The backrest makes you slouch putting pressure on your lower back and deactivating the use of your core. Put something nasty or pokey on the back part of your chair so you don’t lean back. I put peanut butter on a napkin and taped it to my chair.

3. Sit up straight. This is the hardest thing for me to remember. Sit erect and elongate your spine, you are now activating your core aka working your abs!

4. Sit evenly. Try not to sit with one leg crossed over the other (if it’s cold in the office bring a shawl to cover your legs). Sitting unbalanced can put unnecessary pressure on one side of your back and make you slouch.

Work Out

1. Calf raises- If you can take your shoes off without offending people, do so. Place your feet flat on the ground then roll up on the balls of your feet while staying seated. Repeat

2. Butt squeezes- Sitting in your chair raise one cheek up at a time by squeezing your gluteus maximus. Alternate sides and repeat. Try not to burst out laughing.

3. Mini cat/cows- If you have ever taken a yoga class, this is an upright version of Cat/Cow: on all fours arching and rolling your back. Sitting completely upright in your chair arch your back as much as you can, then roll in to make a hump. Basically, you are aiming to make a concave and convex shape with your back. Repeat and breathe.

4.  Leg lifts- Sitting on your chair, extend one of your legs (spin your chair around if you don’t have enough room under your desk). Lift your leg fully extended 6 inches off your chair, hold and slowly bring it back down to the chair. Keep your leg extended the whole time. Make sure you back is straight and you are not leaning back.

5. Walk around your office. Get up once every hour to stretch, walk and get your blood circulating again.

I also found it important to drink a lot of water during the day to ward off my sluggishness. Water also quelled my desire to mindlessly munch on unhealthy snacks.

As a follow-up to an article I wrote before regarding summer jobs, I just wanted to share with you a few things I have learned since:

So, summer has officially started.  I got back from UCLA on June 8^th, and by the following Tuesday I had secured two internships.  Let me tell you how.

Initially, I spent my entire Spring Break roaming around the tri-city area looking for a low-level job.  I picked up, filled out, and dropped off over three dozen applications without much response (with the exception of American Eagle Outfitters, who rejected me only a little after, and Forever 21, who did not call back after my stellar interview).  I signed up for a dozen internship websites and I shipped my resume off to company after company.  Still I got no response.  I felt completely horrible, undervalued, and useless.  I then wrote that lovely frustrated article.   Everyone I gave my application to, I conveniently forgot until recently, said I was applying earlier than they were used to and all the interviewers who interrogated me said they would have to hold on to my application till summer.  They would call me then, they assured me.

Well, I still cannot believe I fell for that.  I felt so confident that I was applying early, obviously showing off how on-the-ball I was.  Surely, I thought, employers would put a gold star on my application.  Wrong.  I was so wrong.  Employers rarely want to line up their summer workers in March, and promising to hold on to your application was just in case they could find NO ONE for summer.  It is also their only way to reassure you (so you do not break down crying in the middle of Forever 21).  So, be wary of that interviewer statement – it is equivalent to “I’m just not in a good place right now.”  Remember, to a summer employer, you are a safety net.

So, when I finished off March and moved into April showers and May midterms, I was still waiting for an actual and concrete job offer.  Blegh.  It was like waiting for a guy to call back – such a pathetic feeling.  Conveniently, I blocked out the sense of rejection with finals and before I knew it the quarter was done and I was home, still, with no job.  That is when I went into overdrive: I started emailing and Facebook messaging relatives and family friends who owned local businesses, asking if they needed help with ANYTHING AT ALL.  I started pouring over Craigslist want ads, feeling kinda skanky and definitely un-humored.  I sent my resume out over and over again to anything that looked interesting.  Surprisingly, a friend of my mother who owned a small business nearby offered me a marketing internship and a law firm from my Craigslisting marathon called me for an interview.  I subsequently landed that job as well.  So, here I am, home and comfortable with two lovely internships and a nice long summer ahead of me.

And that is my story.  Let me break it down for you:

1)      There is no real need to start applying more than a month before summer when looking for a summer job – odds are most employers will not be impressed if you are just looking for a seasonal position and they most likely will not be ready to start hiring for summer.

2)      If you want a particular low-level job (by which I mean sales associate at a clothing or department store, barista, etc.) call a month ahead of time and see if you can set up an interview for as soon as you get back from school.  Also, do not tell them you are seasonal.  This might make you uncomfortable, but there is no real harm in being a little vague about when you intend to stop working.  And it is not really lying – who knows what your financial situation will be come September?

3)      If you are looking for an internship, I strongly encourage you to ask around – ask family friends, ask family, ask friends, ask teachers, ask previous coworkers.  Do what you gotta do.  Internships are not easy to come by and the job market is hyper-saturated with out-of-work college graduates who are ready to take on low-paying or even unpaid positions in order to promote future careers.  Your competition for a given internship is high, so do not think of it as nepotism, think of it as an opportunity.

4)      USE CRAIGSLIST.  I promise you, it is so much more effective than the millions of internship websites out there.  You do not have to pay for it and the people who post job offers and ads on there are a tad bit more desperate to fill a position than whatever an internship website can dredge up.  Craigslist is very easy to search through for particular types of jobs and internships.  And it is also super simple to just work your way down a list of email addresses when you send out your resume and cover letters.  It is no skin off your back, believe me, for the level of response you get back.

I am currently looking for a summer job. This is the first time I have wanted to do so but I had no idea what I was getting into.  I have been looking for a job so long that I have to actually keep myself from getting down on my knees to beg the manager to let me do anything that does not include filling out an application. I would even be willing to personally greet every customer with a huge cheesy smile and free hand-made cappuccinos if it means that I do not have to exaggerate my sparse credentials again.

And as I fill out my 25th internship/ job application, I have to wonder, am I alone?

I was an over-achiever in high school – president of a couple clubs, senior writer for the school paper, yadda yadda – and I threw myself into multiple majors in college.

But when it comes to filling in references for the basic retail job at American Eagle Outfitters, I have nothing to say for myself. What I do have is a lengthy list of teachers who can write me glowing recommendation letters. But I very distinctly lack coworkers and previous bosses who can speak for my customer service skills. And as a proud member of the young South Asian female community, among whom the norm is to work hard to get into a good school and go on to a blindingly bright future, I wonder if my predicament is a real predicament at all. I mean, there is an obvious trade-off between doing schoolwork and having a job, but is my leaning to the former something I should regret? Sure, I want to ensure I am hirable in the future. And right now I have close to no work experience (which could debatably translate to little real world experience), but I cannot say that means I have been goofing off all this time.

This more or less brings me to the question of internships.  I had thought, in high school, that internships were what I would do during the summers when I was older.  They were such a grown up concept – working in a lab or as an assistant or in research for the subjects and jobs I would devote my life to.  So I put them off.  But now, now that I am all “grown-up,” when I am applying for internships I find myself somewhat frozen with fear.  I have so many questions, like do I apply for internships with my major in mind or with the desire for new experiences?  Should I be testing the waters in other areas of interest?  How many internships should I have done before law school?  What types of internships?  Should it be this stressful?  And, is this what growing up is?

So, before I slip into melodrama, I want to extend this whole question of internships and jobs to the reader – What was it like for you?  And what do I do now? Will employers value extra-curricular activities and good grades over a list of previous jobs? Should I be working my butt off to get internships? Will I ever get a summer job with my pathetic list of references, or should I just give up and open a lemonade stand?

by Farah Mithani

I didn’t think I would ever write anything about fashion because I’m not very involved with the fashion world.  However, recently I realized that I’m in it everyday.  Working at Puma for a under a year now, has given me a little taste of fashion. It may not be high-end couture or anything you see in all those magazines like Vogue or InStyle.  It may not be the latest new trend, but it still is fashion, sports fashion. Based on my Puma work, I thought I’d throw in a little plug about Puma and why I love them.

Since I’ve been working there for a while, half my wardrobe now consists of Puma shoes, track jackets, and accessories.  I actually like to take a minute and think about what I’m going to wear now.  Most of the time, without realizing, I catch myself wearing all Puma from my hat all the way down to the socks (even on non-work days!).  The fun part is making something stand out.  I think that rule might apply with any kind of fashion, having something “pop,” perhaps with color, and Puma is definitely into all the crazy colors.  I can wear a dress, throw on some Puma kicks, a baseball cap, and I’m good to go!

From working at Puma,  I like learning about different athletes and noticing how they incorporate Puma into their style and athletic gear.  I’ve seen the Puma World Cup collection, Ricky Fowler’s golf accessories and Usain Bolt’s new running shoes from the FAAS Lab Collection.   I’m incredibly excited about the recent Puma news: Bob Marley’s eldest daughter, Cedella Marley, is designing the Jamaican Track and Field gear for the 2012 Summer Olympics.  That will definitely be One to Love.

I’ve even had a chance to meet athletes from my hometown such as Brian Ching from the Houston Dynamo soccer team, who is sponsored by Puma.  I’ve had the opportunity to meet even athletes that are not sponsored by Puma and love to get a new pair every once and awhile. For example, Neil Rackers,the kicker for the  Houston Texans football team,   practically gets a pair of new Puma’s before every home game. I would know, because I got the opportunity to sell him a few this past football season!. I even got autographs from both Ching and Rackers!

I must say I love my job and I definitely love Puma. Okay, plug over!

My name is Faraway Farah, from a galaxy far, far away where only Mad Scientists do crazy experiments! Today was my first day of Mad Science.  I landed this great opportunity a couple of weeks ago, and I am definitely proud to say that I am now officially a Mad Scientist.

This educational and entertaining program is great for kids.  They get to learn about science in only a fun way.  I remember the first time I experienced Mad Science as a kid.  I was 13 years old at a church camp.  The Mad Scientist was pretty wild and crazy, who taught us about dry ice.  Today I got to teach the kids about air, and my favorite part was what they got to take home, their own bag of air, which made them very excited!  The experiments that are done with this company brings out a child’s imagination and their love to explore the world.  Mad Science is a global business with partners such as ‘Scholastic, the Kennedy Space Center Visitor Complex, and the NASA Langley Center for Distance Learning.’

If you have any kids or younger family members, let them know about the great science adventure they can have!  As the Senior Vice President of the company says, “Mad Science [is] a well established brand that is already embraced by kids throughout the world.”  So encourage younger kids to learn about science and spark their curiosity about the world, I know I will try and do my part!

For more about the program, camps, and birthday parties go on the website:

http://www.madscience.org/

This is the first in a series offering career advice to Brown Girls.

I’ve spent the majority of my high school and my college years interning at anywhere that would take me from accounting firms, celebrity PR firms, fortune 500 companies, to a local radio station. After years of emails, interviews, research, and managers I feel like I’ve finally conquered the impossible system. There are a few things that websites and college counselors don’t tell you to do, but that will most definitely set you apart from the crowd.

1. Booking the Interview

When a recruiter calls you for an interview, try and contain your excitement and keep in mind that the phone call is a pre-interview to see if you are calm, collected, and have good phone manners. Before the recruiter finishes up their rehearsed spiel, make sure you get the following information from the recruiter.

-The name of your interviewer

-The address and room of the interview

-A phone number in case of emergency

-The name of the department/company/position

2. Research

The name of the department/company/position/interviewer may not mean much to you when you hear it, but it will set you leagues ahead of the others.

I once interviewed for an international television network and didn’t research. the interviewer asked me on the spot what my favorite show was on the network and I quickly realized I hadn’t watched the network in over a year or two! I was quickly put to the bottom of the stack for using a show that I watched when I was younger.

With the department and position name you have the ability to look into what exactly they do in general. This is especially helpful with new era jobs such as Marketing, Social Networking, or Web Design. Look into what other job listings of the sort contain and what those job postings are looking for.

The name of your interviewer will give you huge insight to what they are looking for. With sites like LinkedIn and Google, you have the ability to see essentially your interviewers resume. Generally you can find their alma mater, previous jobs, and current job title which may lead to some sort of common ground.

3. The Day Of

Get a good night sleep - Being filled with energy and being filled with caffeine are two different spectrums.

Eat a good breakfast - We’ve been hearing this combo since our first attempts at standardized testing. Why do they use the same old tips? Because they work!

Take a copy of your resume - Take a copy just in case the interviewer needs it, or multiple people are interviewing you

Be Comfortable – Buy a suit that is both practical and smart looking, wear heels that are comfortable and professional, wear shirts that don’t bust open when you are seated. Express and The Limited have stylish business clothes and often offer a discount if you buy a full suit at once.

4. The Waiting Area

Arrive 25 minutes early.

I know they generally say 15 but this will be the day you are out of gas, get every red light, and miss the turn. You also have to be aware some companies are located in areas where you need to pay for parking so take some extra cash with you in case. There could be a security guard you have to check in with, a 10 minute walk up to the lobby, and a parking verification that you need to walk back and put on your car. All of this alone would take you 20 minutes, and the recruiter doesn’t care you were outside the building 25 minutes ago, they care when you arrive to the actual interview.

Level 1: the Receptionist

Although you may walk in and see a young man or woman wasting time behind a desk, be aware that your interviewer could rely on this person for every thing that they aren’t able to handle. Often times the receptionist could serve as the administrative assistant to every person in the office.

You DON’T want to piss that person off.

When you walk in, smile and be assertive. Introduce yourself and tell them that you have an appointment with XXXXX. Then s/he may tell you to be seated and wait for a minute, don’t think this is the end of the test. They’re watching you, every little movement. So don’t play a game on your iPhone, don’t catch up on emails, don’t eat a banana because you’re hungry, don’t fluff your hair and makeup, and don’t do anything stupid. If there are newspapers or magazines there feel free to read one quietly without spreading them everywhere. Don’t do anything you wouldn’t want the receptionist to tell your interviewer.

5. The Introduction

Eventually your interviewer will enter the room after what seems like forever. Quickly stand up when they call your name and walk over and make immediate eye contact. Put your hand out and FIRMLY shake his or her hand and state your full name. Girls, especially brown girls, don’t understand the power of a strong handshake.

If you’re a petite girl and you go over and touch fingers with your interviewer, they’re not going to think you could be the Marketing Manager of their company. If you go over and shake their hand firmly and briskly, they’ll think ‘She may be small but she’s got something else behind her.’

6. Post Interview

Make sure you ask the interviewer for their business card after the interview. Thank them and shake their hand one more time on the way out. By shaking their hand again, you’re reminding them of your strengths and capabilities. And by maintaining eye contact and smiling, you’re showing them one last time that you’re personable and approachable. After all, they want someone who will work well in their office as well as get the job done.

The minute you get to a computer, type up an email thanking them for the interview.  Say how thankful you are for the opportunity, and then remind them of why you’d be the best candidate for the job. Close by saying that you look forward to hearing from them in the future and leaving your contact info so it’s easily accessible for them.

I promise if any of these things backfire on you, I’ll give you my address and you can punch me in the face. Until then, just be yourself and know that you got this far because they wanted you as much as you wanted them.

What to be and what not to be.  I thought everything would just fall into place after graduation.  I’ve been stuck in a swirling vortex of confusion.  Who knew reality would be this hard?

I should have listened to my parents when they warned me about it.  “Don’t just let life pass you by.”  Four months have passed by for me since graduation.

Here’s a recap of the past four months of my life.

Since I became a Biology major, pre-med was written on my path of success.  But, what about my English major?  I love to read and write. I also love to be around children.  Maybe I can become an English teacher? Oh the choices.  I kept going back and forth.  What could be something that involved both of my interests? Honestly, I didn’t know.  My motto had always been: “Ah, it’s okay. Just go with the flow.”

So, I kept changing my career choices about once a week.  From becoming a doctor, forensic scientist, journalist, teacher, photographer…ah you get the point.   I have to admit; I feel I am definitely on a path that’s leading nowhere.  Some advice to all of you out there, at least try to start thinking about what you want now.

Now, I work at my dad’s store everyday from 12-4.  The store isn’t too great. Barely any customers, so the time goes by really slow.  However, time is going by pretty fast…I just noticed it a fewmonths later.  Have you guys seen the movie Post Grad with Alexis Bledel? That movie explains about 75% of what I am going through, except the fact that she actually got interviews, and then rejected.  I just keep getting rejected without any interviews.  It’s a tough crowd out there.

This moment,  I am waiting for either an acceptance letter or rejection letter for continuing my education in Biology.  This summer I will start my Texas Teacher Alternative Program.  I write as much as I can, fiction and nonfiction, poetry and prose, blogs and editorials.  I recently bought a fancy professional camera, since I am addicted to taking pictures of everything and anything. Hopefully, this will kick off my future photography career.  Maybe, I’ll keep thinking about medical school or dental school.  I will do as much as I can, as much as I want.  I will be successful one day.  I will stay confident.  That’s all you need. Confidence.

I’m mere weeks away from a bona fide college degree. In the past four years, I have gone through two laptops, three majors, and developed a semi-serious and expensive addiction to caffeine to get to this point (damn you, Starbucks!). I have spent countless nights on projects and papers. I have spent even more nights procrastinating and getting distracted by the randomness of dorm life, and then apartment life.  But it’s finally here. Graduation.

It’s not only a time of transition, but also of reflection. And so begins the sentimental sappy story of the moment, as is required in the by-laws of all writing related to ceremonial milestones in a young brown girl’s life.

Two and half years ago marks the time when I officially changed my major to English (cue gasp). I was a sophomore and my career goals at that point were shaped entirely by what I didn’t want to do (i.e. doctor, engineer, pharmacist, accountant – so basically any job worth having as decided among the general collective of South Asian parents).  I was stuck in an accounting course that interested me about as much as watching the most boring shade of paint dry. And every time I was asked what my major was, I would reply halfheartedly, “…Business…general studies, I guess.”

Needless to say, my motivation was limited. But I felt it was my only ‘practical’ option because I lacked even the most basic aptitude in science or math and my parents felt it was the most sensible choice. And I didn’t want to disappoint them.  I was jealous of all my non-Indian friends who I felt had the luxury in choosing their own life path. And so I sulked until I finally failed my first test. Ever. It was sort of a nerdy wake-up call. The newspaper headline of the day might as well have read, “Smart Indian Chick: Now a Failure in Life.” Ok, I exaggerate. But nevertheless, a failed test grade did alert me to the state of my studies and it wasn’t a conclusion I was entirely prepared for.

The truth was, I hated all my classes, hated all my future classes, and hated whatever future profession I would enter into. That’s a lot of hate for a confused 19-year old. Ultimately I sat down and reviewed my options. Stay in the major I was in, or switch it out for something a lot more appealing – English. I’ve always had a strong affinity for words and ideas that didn’t involve some complicated equation or a hundred dollar calculator…or a five dollar calculator for that matter.  So, English it was; I thought – perfect! There was only one glitch. The parents. I absolutely dreaded breaking the news that their eldest daughter, whom they, for whatever reason, placed so much hope and expectation into, was setting out to lead some sort of transient-hobo-hippie lifestyle. After all, what do you do with a B.A. in English? (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CK6ksA0QyE4)

Eventually I (wo)manned up and told them — six months later. As expected, they freaked out. I had gone rogue and absolutely lost my sense of future stability/survival. Oh no! The world was ending and in this apocalyptic state of Indian family crisis, my main battles were trying to convince my parents I had a solid post-graduation plan (which I didn’t) and screening calls from random relative phone interventions (which I failed at). At the end of what I consider the Most Un-Fun Spring Break Ever, I had managed to talk to five different aunties and uncles who attempted to sneakily convince me that they were giving me a friendly courtesy call, not all trying to ambush me with ideas about pursuing dentistry or something practical of the sort.

“Beta, you want to be teacher? They make no money, you know,” they persisted.

“…not exactly. I’m interested more in…” I replied back. The last bit was usually a mumble of some sort of generalized plans, when in actuality I had no freaking idea what was to become of me.

A few weeks later, my mother finally calmed down enough to tell me in her own special way that it was fine. It took my father a bit longer, but eventually he came around too.

What seemed like an impossibly uphill and arduous journey then is just a nostalgic blip now. Not that all my problems have completely disappeared – there’s still the post-grad adjustment period/job search — but I’ve realized (with help) that whatever the situation, it will be O.K. This is the exact sort of optimism I’m in the habit of mocking and cynically criticizes, however it’s true.  At the time, I was devastated at the thought of disappointing my parents and failing their expectations, but they got over it. It took time, but eventually all the anger and disappointment just reverts back to the familial love that never goes away, that never went anywhere actually.

It’s hard explaining this part of my life to non-South Asians. I think in the South Asian family dynamic, there is such an importance placed on family that any sort of disappointment or ‘rebellion,’ whether it is in love, education, or career choices, becomes a seemingly epic ordeal. Breaking away from the engineer-doctor paradigm can indeed be difficult, because of the immense amount of pressure that may comes from parents, relatives, or even that random grandmotherly figure you always see at the temple (or whatever house of worship you might attend – because contrary to popular belief, not all of us South Asians are Hindus), but it’s not impossible. If that’s what you want to do, more power to you; however, it’s not the only option. Whether it be your major, or any other “life-decision,” it’s not conducive to do something because you feel stuck or obligated. It’s the corniest line in the old cliché book, but follow your dreams. It’ll be worth it in the end.

This is part advice article; part me just self-indulging in my own memories. But the message is simple. Do what’s right for you. Whatever you do, do it all the way. Look at that, I’ve turned into a motivational speaker (translate: prospective career option!).