Have you had “THE TALK” with your kids? A few days ago my daughter brought home the family life/human sexuality consent form from school. I didn’t hesitate to give my consent for her to take to class. I realize that this is not the norm in most desi houses.
I grew up with my first generation parents from Pakistan. In our house topics like sex, puberty and feelings were not discussed. I remember the first time I was given this form as a kid, I was so shy to take it to my mom for her to sign it. It was extremely hard for us to discuss how we felt with our desi parents.
I feel that being born and raised in America has helped me and other moms like me understand our children better. Of course, our parents did the best they could, but I just think they couldn’t relate to us the way we can relate to our children. When my daughter brought me her consent form she looked me right in the eye and said mama can you please sign this, with no shame or discomfort. You see we have already discussed the topic of sex with our kids. They are only eight and nine years old, but yes we have had “the talk.”
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I won’t go into much detail about exactly what we discussed but it was mainly geared towards making sure they know their body is only for them to see and not anyone else. We told them that if they ever feel uncomfortable with anyone they could come tell us. We wanted them to understand that in our religion (Islam) sex comes after marriage. And most importantly that they can always come to talk to us about anything.
Don’t feel uncomfortable to have “the talk” with your kids. Most likely they already know anyway, so why wait for them to ask their friends or google the information. You should always be their first resource for any questions they may have, especially ones like this.
We had the conversation with the whole family present. Yes, there were some giggles at first. But once we started talking a lot of topics were discussed.
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A few days later I spoke to my children about puberty as well. I wanted them to be aware of the term and what comes along with it. Some may say I am being besharam by speaking to my kids about this so openly, but things are changing and we need to change as well.
Our job as parents is to educate our children and lead them in the right direction. My husband and I did what we felt was right for our children. Every parent has their own approach, there is no right or wrong way. At the end of the day, they will choose their own path, all we can do is pray they choose the right one!
The photo in this post is provided by the author.
