Trigger warning: this article contains material related to sexual assault. Discretion is advised. If these topics cause emotional, mental, or physical distress, please call the National Sexual Assault Hotline.
April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month and Brown Girl Magazine had the chance to sit down with author, Sajni Patel. She has written several books known and loved by South Asian women who resonate with the narratives of healing and themes of survivorship. In this piece, Patel discusses her inspiration and motivation to write the books she does, and her hopes for the audiences and the South Asian community in the context of sexual assault and its related stigmas.
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What inspired you to be an author and create characters of South Asian descent across each of your books?
At 10 years old, I began writing short stories. I have always been drawn to fantasy and horror themes. The race of my characters never occurred to me until I began seeing more South Asian authors. That’s when I decided to write from my experience and embedded the feelings I had growing up and throughout my young adult years.
Read Related: [Brown Girls, Sexual Assault and How Our Cultures Contribute to Sexual Pain]
I remember early on, publishers would say the audience I was trying to capture is a niche market, and they were unsure how to market these types of books. I’m very grateful for those early South Asian authors that really paved the way and opened the doors because, by the time “The Trouble with Hating You” (TTWHY) was published, marketing was no longer a concern. I wanted to write about my experience as an immigrant and the firstborn girl. I grew up in a traditional household and I was taught to be quiet and keep my head down. I was going through so many things, but I had been told to keep my opinions to myself so as not to cause issues, so I was not able to voice anything. I found that writing, especially “The Trouble with Hating You,” was very cathartic. I was able to say things or write my story in the way I wish I would have done things. I always say, Liya is the type of character that I wish I could have been. My writing was a therapeutic way of dealing with my emotions, and I wasn’t expecting to get to where I am now. I wasn’t expecting the reception that TTWHY received or to continue writing South Asian stories. I’m definitely happy to do it and I will continue writing.
Often your books have themes of romance, love, and respect, while telling a really whirlwind story. They also have themes of sexual assault or the characters having to heal from major traumas: What is your motivation to create these narratives?
There’s a saying: “Write what you know.” I was just writing from my experience, especially with my first novel, TTWHY, and when I wrote its sequel, “First Love, Take Two,” I was able to voice all the things I could not have said. I was able to also tie in other aspects like depression, racism, anxiety, and other intersections of my lived experience. It’s wonderful that as much as my writing is healing for me, it’s healing for my readers which is something I did not anticipate.
I was worried about how the book would be received by South Asians, because I’ve had a hard time connecting with other South Asians. I was scared there was going to be some backlash. When you’re an author of color, writing about characters of color, I feel like you have to be super careful because you’re going to be judged harder. This happens across readership, not just with South Asian readers. You’re judged harder, held to a higher standard, and expected to cultivate the perfect characters. However, when the book released, I started receiving messages from South Asian women who have experienced what Liya had in the book. Readers were sharing with me how therapeutic the story had been and how helpful it was in their healing journey or how it had helped in opening conversations. My readers realized they are not alone, and they never were.
What have you learned from the journey of writing your first novel to now? What do you wish you would’ve known in the beginning?
I have learned to let go of the fear of what readers will say because reading is subjective. Everyone has the right to have their opinion about a book, so I’ve learned to not take their criticisms too personally. Although any author will tell you, they still take negativity and bad reviews personally because this is our work. My books represent my experiences in my life. So, when someone says the experience is not how I have portrayed it, it feels like I’m being dismissed. At the same time, I’ve learned to not even read those reviews and to just let them roll off as best as possible when I do come across them.
I continue to write because, while those negative reviews make me question why I even bother writing these stories, I receive so many encouraging messages from excited readers who tell me how much my books resonate with them. Readers have shared how they were crying while writing the message to me because they were so touched and felt seen by the stories I had created. That makes everything worth it, and I’ll continue to write in these areas because if it’s resonating with even one person, it’s worth it.
April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month and you often amplify the voices of characters in your novels who have experienced sexual assault and empower them. Do you do any non-profit or social justice work related to sexual assault and violence advocacy in real life?
I try to amplify several organizations and their resources, like hotlines or events. Since April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month, I’ve tried to promote the work of different national networks while also speaking about my own books. For example, in “A Drop of Venom” (DOV) the main character experiences sexual assault, and the opening letter mentions statistics from ‘Rainn’ — which is an acronym for Rape, Abuse, Incest, National Network. DOV is a young adult book that addresses sexual assault very clearly and is inspired by the myth of Medusa, a rape victim who was vilified.
The teen aspect of “DOV” is very important because there is still a need for advocacy in this area, which I speak about very openly, particularly in the context of the South Asian community, because I come from one that doesn’t talk about it as much. There are also coalitions and networks for different intersections of culture that I find helpful to connect with and support, especially on college campuses as that’s a place where sexual assault frequently happens. As a whole, I’ve tried to bring awareness through community, college, and cultural contexts of advocacy and education related to sexual assault.
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How do you think the South Asian community has improved in its ability to support victims of sexual assault and where do you think it could do better or do more?
There are parts of the community that don’t blame the victim or convey shame towards them, but then there are other parts that are very aware of the stigma that’s attached. I was just talking to someone about this and they mentioned how the stigma of sexual assault is emphasized when there are marriage prospects. How many will keep the secret and take it to their grave because you don’t want it to be detrimental to your chances of getting married. That’s so sad to think that your entire worth is based on something like a sexual assault, which isn’t even the victim’s fault in the first place. We still have a lot of work to do, and I think younger voices, especially the teens and those in their early 20s, are very vocal and opinionated. They are very aware of what’s right and will speak up about it.
I can’t speak on all South Asian communities, but mine is very religious and traditional and emphasizes the importance of a woman’s purity. Which is why I speak more openly now. I’ve heard so many conversations around why sexual assault happens and instead of creating safer environments for women to be able to live without fear of experiencing this, people place the burden on women to be careful. Why is the pressure on women instead of holding perpetrators accountable? As an entire society, we need to address this and rearrange the thought process. We should be educating everyone, specifically men, I say this because the majority of perpetrators are men, and hold them accountable. We need to stop putting the blame and shame on the shoulders of the victim and elicit a societal change from within. I think more South Asian communities are doing this, but there’s a lot of work to be done.
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What is your vision for the near future in terms of books that you hope to write and themes you hope to embed?
When I began writing “DOV,” I started confronting the patriarchy [that exists]. “DOV” portrays how the societal system is negatively impacted because of patriarchy and the reasons why women are treated in a certain way. I think about matriarchal versus patriarchal societies in the world right now and how they differ, which is a theme I’m moving towards. Like right now, I’m working on this fantasy that I hope readers get to see one day and it’s very much about matriarchy versus patriarchy and how that differs. In our current society, we see matriarchies, but in this book I’m referring to one where women are elevated and respected. In that world, led by a queen, women are truly equal.
I hope readers will continue reading my books. But also, my DMs are always open for messages. They’re not going to be closed. I also have my website messages open, I do receive a lot of messages that way. But the most important thing is if any of my books have helped you to heal or process, I hope that you keep moving forward and finding your people in your space because you deserve to be happy, to be loved, to be the way you were before anything ever happened to you. Not just sexual assault, but anything bad. You were never broken. You are unbroken and deserve every good thing.
Read Related: [Processing Relationships After Sexual Assault]
If you or someone you love have experienced sexual assault, please find resources below:
- National Sexual Assault Hotline: Confidential 24/7 Support
- Sakhi for South Asian Survivors
- South Asian Soar
Sajni Patel is an award-winning author of women’s fiction and young adult books. Her works have appeared in numerous ‘Best of the Year’ and ‘Must-Read’ lists in Cosmopolitan, Teen Vogue, Apple Books, AudioFile, Tribeza, Austin Women’s Magazine, NBC, Insider, and many others. Patel is perhaps best known for her book “The Trouble With Hating You,” which NPR calls “a feisty, enemies-to-lovers office romantic comedy that also grapples with more serious subject matter.” Publisher’s Weekly gave her most recent release, “A Drop of Venom,” a starred review, noting: “Patel unflinchingly addresses themes of sexual assault and rape culture, trauma, and consent in this bold fusion of the Medusa myth and Indian folklore.”
