A Path to Recovery: my Story of Domestic Violence

*Content Note: domestic and emotional abuse*

I never thought it could happen to me. As a child, I grew up in a fairly safe, upper-middle-class community. I found myself doing an excessive amount of extracurriculars and was always well-taken care of by loving parents. I am Guyanese, but I’ve never visited Guyana nor resonated with the stereotypes that plague our community. Although I am aware of the intergenerational barriers of domestic violence, substance abuse, and mental health, I never pictured myself intimately interacting with each. I can name so many women who have been killed or abused extensively by domestic partners but have never truly felt their stories within the depths of my heart—until now. 

I met my abuser in September of 2018. Naive and gullible, I loved the bad-boy persona he exuded and the overwhelming wannabe ‘gangster’ persona he portrayed. I found myself confused at first, knowing this wouldn’t be a man that my parents would embrace. I played along, listening to story after story of his time spent in jail, his ex-girlfriend’s parents hating him and kicking him out of their home at the tender age of 14, and we laughed the severity of his actions off.

[Read Related: The Damaging Narrative of ‘I Would’ve Told’]

I am culpable for blanketing the grimness of the situation because after all, I saw a future with him, right? I quickly realized just how wrong I was. His rage was frequent, violent, and aggressive. He would force me to apologize, threaten to ‘violate,’ and insult me, turning the deepest secrets I shared with him into ammunition. He quickly commanded control of my social media, rectifying his authority by claiming that was what “a stable relationship” was like. 

On the worst nights of my life, he forced me to slit my skin in anger and during the early stages, threatened to call my parents and reveal our relationship if I didn’t press the glass against myself. I caved, wearing the defeat on my skin, on that night and still to this day. He forced me to eat a tissue on another occasion, simply stating that I “had no right to be crying or wiping my tears” and that a tissue “wouldn’t kill me, I was just being dramatic.” I constantly found myself expressing aggression towards my friends, family, and those I loved.

I isolated myself from them, lost my confidence, and often stuttered as I spoke, a far cry from the girl who loved public speaking before this wave of terror hit. I always wanted to leave but didn’t know how to. I defended him in the face of my family, protecting him from their judgemental glares and assumptions. 

[Read Related: Domestic Violence Awareness Month: Breaking Free from Generations of Abuse]

On the night he tried to kill me, I was ignoring him. I didn’t want him bothering me because my cousin was getting married and I didn’t want my family to meet him. He somehow tracked me and showed up, directing me to a dark street corner where he proceeded to strangle me.

I was never hit as a child, nor was I physically punished. I was astounded that this was the first time someone had ever put their hands on me in anger. The magnitude of this night and his abuse was something I never truly grasped until I decided I was done with our relationship. 

Victim blaming is real, especially in our community. His friends (both male and female) ridiculed me, laughing his vile actions off.  My father blamed me, too, for “loving an idiot” and for “embarrassing him,” but later realizing his faults and the lasting implications of the stereotype he branded me with, in anger. I lost myself and the girl I once was in the face of all the hate I received for being a victim of abuse. 

There is something to be said about the frustrating reaction of police to domestic violence. I was interviewed by 3 officers who initially promised me safety and the issuance of a warrant, but nothing was done. My report was essentially discarded and no further action was taken. After exhausting every single domestic violence line in NYC, I finally gave a report. It took me days of tears, frustration, and angst to realize that although women are constantly blamed for not going to the police, many do.

[Read Related: Private: Learning to Listen: Volunteering Domestic and Sexual Abuse Survivors]

In instances where women have been critically injured or killed by their abusive partners, there is often a communal assumption that the woman did not try to leave, or seek legal help. The truth is, the system can be exhausting. Police simply are not receptive to our pain and immediate needs as abused women. A 3-5 day wait time should not be a reality for someone who has received numerous death threats, is being stalked and repeatedly harassed online, regardless of whether the threats were validated. Our community needs to do better, as a collective and I hope this story helps procure change. 

As for myself, I am currently on the path to recovery. It is important to own the independence in affirming your truth after a year of being told you were a lie. I’ve always been the narrator for stories that aren’t mine, however, the anonymity of this article allows me to share my truth in my light, from my heart.

I hope that these words reach the gullible girl that I was, loving a man that didn’t deserve the peace I’ve attained. I hope it protects more women who are currently undergoing the thralls of an abusive partner. I hope we can rise up as a community and bring on the necessary changes to our society and its definition of abuse. Although change is inevitable, this change is integral in protecting our women and children from partners who justify their torture in the name of love. 

If you suspect you or someone you love is experiencing abuse, the following South Asian organizations are available for assistance:


P.O. Box 1021, Huntsville, AL 35807
24-hour Hopeline: (256)-509-1882 and toll-free crisis line: (800)-793-3010
Email: ashakiran@ashakiran.com
Phone: (256) 698–4446
Website: ashakiranonline.org/

ASAFSF, Arizona South Asians for Safe Families
P.O. Box 2748, Scottsdale, AZ 85252-2748
Hotline: 1-877-SAFE-711 (1-877-723-3711)
Email: info@asafsf.orgasafsf@gmail.com
Website: asafsf.org
ASAFSF is a registered, nonprofit, community-based organization providing support and services to victims of domestic violence in the South Asian community in Arizona.

P.O. Box 697 Santa Clara, CA 95052
Helpline (888) 8 MAITRI (800.862.4874)  Mon- Fri 9:00 AM to 1:00 PM
Office: (408) 436 8398
Fax: (408) 503 0887
Email: maitri@maitri.org
Website: maitri.org
Cultural displacement, conflict resolution, and domestic Violence – Transitional House services available.

P.O. Box 14014
Berkeley, CA 94714
Hotline: (800) 215 7308
Office: (510) 540 0754
Fax: (510) 540 0201
Email: narika@narika.org
Website: http://www.narika.org
DV organization

Orphans & Battered Women Foundation International, Inc.
2680 N. Vista Glen Road
Orange, CA 92867-1739
Office: (714) 637 1613
Fax: (323) 725 6969

17918 South Pioneer Blvd. Suite 206
Artesia, CA 90701
Hotline: (888) 724 2722
Office: (562) 402 4132
Fax: (562) 402 6096
Email: saharaorg@yahoo.com
Website: charityfocus.org/sahara
DV organization

My Sahana
P.O. Box 361301
Milpitas, CA 95036-1301
Office: (408) 657 9569
Website: mysahana.org
Awareness about mental health, emotional health, and overall well-being in the South Asian community by providing culturally-sensitive information as well as helpful resources and tips.

South Asian Network
18173 South Pioneer Blvd. Suite 1
Artesia, CA 90701
Helpline: (800) 281 8111
Office: (562) 403-0488
Fax: (562) 403 0487
Email: saninfo@southasiannetwork.org
Website: southasiannetwork.org

P.O. Box 14161
San Francisco, CA 94414
Voicemail: (415) 487 8778
Email: trikone@trikone.org
Website: trikone.org
Serving lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender South Asians.

P.O. BOX 271650
West Hartford, CT 06127-1650

Raksha, Inc.
P.O. Box 12337 Atlanta, Georgia – 30355
Office: (404) 876 0670
Toll-Free: (866) 725 7423
Toll-Free: (877) 672 5742
Helpline: (404) 842 0725
Fax: (404) 876-4525
Email: raksha@mindspring.com
Website: raksha.org
DV organization

Apna Ghar
4753 N. Broadway, Suite 502 Chicago, IL 60640
Crisis line: (800) 717 0757 Illinois only
Out of State: (773)334 4663
Office: (773) 334 0173
Fax: (773) 334 0963
Email: info@apnaghar.org
Website: apnaghar.org
DV organization – shelter services available.

Hamdard Center
228 E. Lake Street, Suite 300
Addison, IL 60101
Office: (630) 835 1430 (630) 860 9122
Email: admin@hamdardcenter.org
Website: hamdardcenter.org

Khuli Zaban
Chicago/Illinois/ Ohio/Michigan/Indiana areas
Phone: (312) 409 2753
The South Asian/Middle Eastern lesbian, bisexual, and transgender women’s organization.

ASHA Asian (Women’s) Self- Help Association
P.O. Box 34303
West Bethesda, MD 20827
Hotline: (800) 799 7233
Office: (202) 207 1248
Email: asha@ashaforwomen.org
Website: ashaforwomen.org
DV organization.

Counselors Helping Asian Indians (CHAI, Inc.)
4517 Redleaf Court
Ellicott City, MD 21043
Office: (410) 461 1634 Ext 2
Email: raziachai@hotmail.com

Asian Task Force Against Domestic Violence
24 Hour Multilingual Hotline: (617)338-2355
Email: info@atask.org
Website: atask.org

P O Box 1345
Burlington, MA 01803
Office: (866) 4SAHELI
Website: saheliboston.org

Michigan Asian Indian Family Center (MAIFS)
28650 11 Mile Rd Suite 218 Farmington Hills, MI 48336
Hotline: (888) 664 8624
Office: (248) 477 4985
Email: info@maifs.org
Website: maifs.org/
Helping DV victims, widowed/divorced spouses, mental depression, and medical illness patients, and elderly persons.

P.O. Box 3103 New Brunswick, NJ 08901
Office: (732) 435 1414
Fax: (732) 435 1411
Email: Manavi@manavi.org
Website: manavi.org
DV organization, transitional house services available.

24-Hour Multilingual Helpline: 1.888.888.7702
9 Mott Street, Suite #200
New York, NY 10013
Monday, Wednesday-Friday: 9 am-6 p.m.
Tuesday: 9 a.m.-7 p.m.

Islamic Center of Long Island, Domestic Violence Committee
835 Brush Hollow Road
Westbury, NY 11590
Office: (516) 333 3495
Fax: (516) 333 7321
Email: icli.icli@verizon.net

11-45 Union Turnpike, Lower Level
Forest Hills, NY 11375
Office: (516) 487 0929
Fax: (718) 459 2971
Email: pragatiinc@aol.com

Saathi of Rochester
P.O. Box 92
East Rochester, NY 14445
Office: (585) 234 1050
Email: saathi_rochester@yahoo.com
Website: saathiofrochester.org

Sakhi for South Asian women
P.O. Box 20208
Greeley Square Station
New York, NY, 10001
Helpline: (212) 868 6741
Office: (212) 714 9153
Fax: (212) 5648745
Email: contactus@sakhi.org
Website: sakhi.org

1012 Oberlin Rd, Raleigh NC, 27605
Office phone: 919-831-4203
Office fax: 919-839-6203
24/7 Crisis Hotline: 1-877-NC-KIRAN
Email: kiran@kiraninc.org
Website: www.kiraninc.org
DV organization – Promote the self-reliance and empowerment of South Asian women who are in crisis through outreach, peer support, and referrals in a confidential manner.

ASHA- Ray of Hope
4900 Reed Road, Suite 300, Columbus Ohio 43220
Email: asharayofhope@sbcglobal.net
Office number: 614-326-2121
Helpline number: 614-565-2918 (24/7)

South Asian Women’s Empowerment and Resources Alliance (SAWERA)
P.O. Box 91242 Portland, OR 97291-0242
Helpline: (503) 778 7386
Office: (503) 641 2425
Email: sawera@sawera.org
Website: sawera.org
DV organization provides free referrals to South Asian women domestic violence (DV) victims seeking shelter, legal help, job placement, childcare, and counseling.

Service and Education for Women Against Abuse (SEWAA)
P.O. Box 1591 Havertown, PA 19083
Office  (215) 62 – SEWAA
Email: sewaa@sewaa.net
Website: sewaa.net

Asians Against Domestic Abuse (AADA) 
P.O. Box. 420776 Houston TX 77242
Office  (713) 339 8300
Email: info@addainc.org
Website: aadainc.org
DV help to all Asian women

An-Nisa’ Hope Center
P. O. Box 1086, Spring, TX 77383-1086
Tel: (713) 339-0803 Fax: (281) 719-0355
Email: info@annisahopecenter.org
Website: annisahopecenter.org/
Services include education and career training, shelter, medical and legal assistance, and outreach. Promoting a new beginning through outreach, education, counseling. Bridging the gap with: training, job placement, medical, and legal aid. Other goals: providing a safe and healthy, Islamic environment

P.O. Box 832802
Richardson, TX 75083
Email: chetna_dsw@yahoo.com
P.O. Box 571774
Houston, TX 77257
Office  (713) 981 7645
Email: info@dayahouston.org
Website: dayahouston.org
DV organization

P.O. Box 3665
South 5th Street
Austin, TX 78764
Office: (512) 703 8745
Email: saheli@saheli-austin.org
Website: saheli-austin.org
DV Organization – to work toward preventing abuse in family relationships, to break the cycle of violence, and pursue a cycle of peace.

P.O. Box 22291
Seattle, WA 98122-0291
Toll-free: (877) 922  4292
Hotline: (206) 325 0325
Office: (206) 568 7576
Email: chaya@chayaseattle.org
Website: apichaya.org/
DV organization – provides translation and interpretation services, referrals to shelters, counseling, medical services, legal and immigration services, community outreach, and training.

Website: khushdc.org
DV organization – provides a safe and supportive environment, promotes awareness and acceptance, and fosters positive cultural and sexual identity for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, questioning(LGBTQ), and additional gender or sexual minority South Asians in the Washington D.C. Metropolitan Area.

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By Brown Girl Magazine

Brown Girl Magazine was created by and for South Asian womxn who believe in the power of storytelling as a … Read more ›

Philanthropist Nirmala Ramprasad Champions Sustainable Development Through Green Dupatta

Nirmala Ramprasad
Nirmala Ramprasad

To overcome global challenges, collective investments and groundwork are fundamental in advancing an equitable future across diverse communities. Sustainable development — a development that promotes growth through social, economic and environmental progress without compromising natural resources — is essential for human survival. At the young age of 21, Nirmala Ramprasad founded Green Dupatta, a sustainable development charity organization, and advocated for its importance through multiple pageant ambassadorships. As a philanthropic representative for the Indo Caribbean diaspora, her work showcases how individuals of any age have the ability to be changemakers for social advancement in areas such as environmental and agricultural protection and education. 

[Read Related: Melissa Ramnauth’s Fight to Support Caribbean Businesses and Preserve Ancestry]

Born and raised in Toronto, Canada, Ramprasad acknowledges her passion for service was inherent since elementary school.

“My exposure to the nonprofit sector during my formative years really helped to shape my understanding of how complex, complicated and time-consuming philanthropy work can be,” Ramprasad said.

Additionally, she credits the values and ideals seen in Indo Caribbean culture as critical to her personal identity and crucial to her work in sustainable development.


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A post shared by Nirmala Ramprasad (@nrampsy)

In conversation with Ramprasad, the following answers have been edited for clarity and concision. 

Growing up, did you resonate with your Indo Caribbean heritage? What ideals do you most connect with and want to pass on in creating positive change?

As a mixed-race person who grew up primarily within the Indo Caribbean community, I have always felt deeply connected to my culture and heritage. As a child I was fully immersed in all things Guyanese (I refused to wear anything but a lehenga to every school picture day). From a young age I was exposed to, and learned about, our music, food, political climate, history of indentureship and the importance of our cultural connection to India. 

In regards to my nonprofit work, one of the most important lessons I take from my Indo Caribbean culture is the significance of ancestral knowledge and practices. One of the main tenets of my nonprofit work is sustainability and I have found that the most effective and practical sustainability practices can be found when we look back at the way our ancestors treated the land they lived on. 

Although we are all changemakers in some way, I always advocate for community involvement in not only development, but also sustainability practices.

Can you describe what Green Dupatta is?

Green Dupatta is a sustainable development non-profit that I started when I was 21 and have since completed projects in Canada, Guyana, India and Trinidad. I work directly with project participants to co-create community-based spaces and programs that increase environmental awareness, food, water security and access to quality education through sustainable development models.

While most of Green Dupatta’s fundraising efforts take place in Canada, community projects are mainly done in Guyana and India. 

In 2020, Ramprasad traveled to Guyana to work with locals in the town of LeonoraTogether they replaced leaking zinc roofs, restored plumbing to old drains, re-poured concrete exteriors and repaved and repainted buildings to be used for yoga and meditation classes, affordable daycare and community gardens. To ensure donations are maximized, local contractors are always utilized. Green Dupatta aims to repair and reuse as many materials as possible. It does not dictate what the spaces should be used for, instead assists the community in having the agency select programming that benefits residents.


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A post shared by Nirmala Ramprasad (@nrampsy)

Across India, Ramprasad detailed Green Dupatta’s completion of seven projects in seven weeks in an eight-part YouTube docuseries. With partnership from JDS Public School in Varanasi, Green Dupatta constructed two sports facilities for student health, engaged in community outreach awareness campaigns on women’s empowerment and environmental conservation, aided in scholarship opportunities for students, helped create a community garden and provided the school with a system to harvest and irrigate water. 

After this, they traveled to Devdaspur, a village with no clean water, to install a well with a shower enclosure, a water purification system and reservation tank, and a fenced enclosure food plantation. With their new ability to easily access clean water, people in Devdaspur showed an increase in social, economic and health outcomes. The community now had the resources to lower the percentage of water and hygiene-related illnesses, increase food and water independence, increase school attendance for children and increase productivity for adults, seeking work, without having to take time to filter or find clean water for their families. 

Through successful sustainable development projects, resources are conserved and enhanced to empower communities to meet their needs, irrespective of their size or location. Like many sustainable development nonprofits, Green Dupatta’s international service delivery was significantly impacted by COVID-19 due to limitations with travel and in-person fundraising. 

As a result, Ramprasad turned to her career as a special education teacher and utilized her knowledge to focus on a project that would directly help Toronto’s families and their schoolchildren.

Created as an emergency response to COVID-19 school shutdowns, Green Dupatta’s ‘Furnishing Minds’ project, is based on a circular economy model in which slightly-used educational resources are redistributed to families in need.”

Since the program began in 2020, more than 1400 pounds of educational resources and curriculum-based materials have been redistributed within the Greater Toronto Area. Its success led to the project being formalized annually. Green Dupatta currently showcases free online guides to the Ontario curriculum, by grade level, for families looking for strategies to help their children’s academic growth and achievement.

Is Green Dupatta currently looking for more educators? How can people get involved?

I am always looking to expand my team! We are really lucky to have dedicated volunteers from a variety of different sectors and backgrounds. Nonprofit organizations can always use all the help they can get — we have general volunteers, event volunteers and sub-committee program volunteers. Anyone looking to get involved can directly message us on Instagram or our website.


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A post shared by Green Dupatta (@greendupatta)

What is your vision for Green Dupatta in the next five years?

In addition to co-creating new community projects and programs, I hope to continuously expand current Green Dupatta projects. With a larger team and additional funding, I would like to strengthen and scale our Furnishing Minds program, as well as increase our international presence, to fill needs and advocate for these communities. In order to build organizational capacity we are always looking to partner with like-minded individuals, businesses and other nonprofit organizations. In the past we were lucky to work with supportive organizations that provided valuable services, resources and expertise.

Outside of Green Dupatta and teaching, Ramprasad has a history of competing in pageants that reflect both her Indo Caribbean heritage and passion for service. She won the Miss West Indian Canadian pageant in 2015 and subsequently became the first Canadian representative at the Divali Nagar Queen Pageant in Trinidad and Tobago where she was awarded second runner-up. In 2020, she was invited to compete as Guyana’s representative in the Miss Face of Humanity Ambassador Search, an international event that showcases female changemakers from around the world. Ramprasad believes that competing in pageants offered, “a platform to educate others about my organization, and the importance of sustainable development as well as an opportunity to showcase myself as an individual capable and dedicated to carrying this torch.”


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A post shared by Nirmala Ramprasad (@nrampsy)

How was it representing Guyana on a global stage at the 2020 Miss Face of Humanity? What platform did you run on, and what message do you have for the next generation of Indo Caribbeans?

The Miss Face of Humanity competition was a unique experience for me as I was given the opportunity to represent both Guyana and the Green Dupatta Charitable Organization. I explored their intersection and looked at how my homeland and culture has impacted both my core values and philanthropic work. 

Being part of a diasporic community is a uniquely beautiful, but also quite complex, place to be. All of our experiences are vastly different — some people feel deeply connected to their communities and some feel very far removed. Although there are many struggles that come from being once, or twice-removed, people are facing much different struggles in the places our ancestors called home. 

My advice to the next generation of Indo Caribbeans is to remember that a diasporic community is very different from a local one. Although some of us may feel very connected to our communities and cultures as they are practiced abroad, we should make space to amplify the voices of our motherlands and remember to give back to places that have given us so much.

Ramprasad says juggling work and leading a nonprofit can be deeply taxing; often fielding criticism and making personal sacrifices. Nonetheless, she loves what she does and is eager to implement sustainable development practices around the world.  Through these projects, communities are equipped with the techniques, tools and knowledge to uplift themselves. Ramprasad is forever grateful that she was drawn to a life of service and believes that it is of utmost importance to actively collaborate with communities in order to preserve the environment and improve the access to quality education.

To learn more about Green Dupatta,  visit their website. You can follow Nirmala’s journey on Instagram @nrampsy.

Featured Image photo courtesy of Bert Pierre.

By Priya Deonarine

Priya D. Deonarine, M.S, NCSP, is the quintessential Pisces who has been dramatically shaped by her experiences and emotions. She … Read more ›

Life Coach and Author Shanita Liu Sets Boundaries, Builds Courage and Refutes an age-old Myth in her new Book ‘Dear Durga’

Dear Durga: A Mom's Guide to Activate Courage and Emerge Victorious
Dear Durga: A Mom's Guide to Activate Courage and Emerge Victorious by Shanita Liu | Photos Courtesy of Shanita Liu

In her new book “Dear Durga,” author and life coach Shanita “Shani” Liu takes a different approach to self-help. Liu guides readers by providing a courageous framework. She writes to the Hindu goddess Durga Ma, who is a symbol of courage to Liu. Durga Ma represents power and protection in Hinduism.

Liu ties together the personal. She shares her experiences in witnessing fear-based patterns from her own Guyanese family and culture and noticing them in herself as a mother while proving coping strategies as a life coach. In this candid conversation, Liu explores the journeys of motherhood, writing, overcoming fear and leading future generations by example.

Where did the idea for this book come from? 

It came from a diary entry I wrote in 2018 or 2019. I wrote that I was going to write a book called “Dear Durga.” I created a folder on my computer and it said “Dear Durga Book” and it was almost like I was setting the intention. I didn’t know what it was going to be about, but I did know that Durga and writing to her was an important part of my journey. And so I just had this intuitive feeling that I was going to be able to share this story one day.

How did you decide what the book would be about? 

In 2021, we were going through the pandemic, I just had my third child, and Durga was very much like, ‘okay, now you’re going to go write your book.’ And I was like, ‘Wait, what? I’m sorry. I’m, like, trying to navigate motherhood again and my business and everything else that was going on.’ And she was like, ‘no, you’re going to participate in this writer’s workshop. You’re going to learn how to write a book proposal. You’re going to enter it into this contest. You’re going to win the contest, and you’re going to write a book.’ And I thought she was nuts. And all of my fears started coming up – who am I to do this, I can’t do this, I’m not enough, what am I writing about? 

I had to muster up the courage to write this book. And so Durga was a catalyst for me to call on my courage and say, ‘it’s time.’ This moment made me realize what I’ve been doing professionally for the last seven years is walking folks through my framework to help them activate their courage. So even though I was terrified, I realized this book can take the personal and the professional pieces of this puzzle and really put it all in one place. 

When you say that Durga was your driving force for action, do you mean spiritually and religiously, or something else?

For everything, yes—emotionally, spiritually. In 2015, when I was falling apart and embarking on these major life changes in my life, she came through. It was the catalyst for me to say, “I have to start breaking myself out of these fear-based mindsets and really start entering these new phases of my life with courage and disrupting old patterns.” 

[Read Related: Fireside Chat With Debut Author Sophie Jai]

Describe the writing process for this book. How did you find that courage to move past your fears?

Definitely writing to Durga. Knowing that the book was going to be about this journey of me connecting with my courage, I had to accept the challenge. I’m a writer by training. I’ve been writing my whole life. I was an English major, so I knew I could write, but I had to sit down and excavate six years of my life. I had to go into my journals from 2015 up until when I started writing the book at the end of 2021.

 It was wild to re-experience myself going through these various obstacles, these discouragements, these discomforts and then find the strength through this courageous energy I had within me, to take these small steps and overcome each obstacle. The excavation of my own life was an interesting part of the process for me to get clear on the themes based on what I remembered. 

The writing process was very spiritually and emotionally transformative because I’ve been doing all this work with my own courage that I sort of had to channel it with my own creativity to write and to marry what I had been doing professionally and what I had been going through personally. So, once I formed the book proposal, the blueprint for what I was writing, and submitted it to the Hay House contest, I then learned I won the runner up prize, I was able to write the manuscript pretty quickly. At that point, I was like, ‘okay, I know what I’m writing about now. I know I have the courage to do it.’ Durga was right, after all. 

Walk us through the four steps for somebody who is just hearing about this and is interested in your way of approaching courage. 

I have a Courage Kit framework, and I’ve had to walk my talk through it, but I’ve used it with hundreds of clients. It’s a four-phase process to support you with activating your courage and keeping it alive. The first phase is activating your courage and calling it in, identifying your courage metaphor, how to access that energy and how to commune with it and build a relationship with it. The second phase is about aligning with your needs because, as mothers and women, we don’t ask ourselves what we need due to this societal expectation and cultural conditioning. That’s an important part of emerging victorious. Victory is important because it means to attain fulfillment. Being victorious means having the courage to honor yourself so that you can be victorious, whatever that is like for you. The third phase is alleviating stressors so you can feel your best. Then the fourth phase is taking action so you can start making baby steps towards your goals. 

How was this journey impacted by being Indo Caribbean? What role did your culture play in this? 

The role that my culture plays is huge. In the book, I talk about the legacies of sacrifice that I come from because of indentureship. I’m three generations removed from that history of colonizers exploiting indentured laborers. When you come from these legacies of sacrifice, fear-based mindsets and behaviors accompany it. When I was acting from a place of martyrdom and sacrificing my own needs, I realized I learned that from the women who came before me, who learned it from the women before them. 

When you zoom out you realize this has happened across cultures. Why are women in our culture asked not to use our voices? Why are people telling us to shut up, play small and don’t cause trouble? Our voices have been collectively suppressed, and over the last few decades, we’ve been liberating ourselves. We’re going to honor all parts of ourselves and express ourselves as we need to, and we need courage to do that.

Why dedicate the book to your younger self?

I had to dedicate this book to my Little Shanny because her voice was suppressed, and due to cultural and societal expectations, she wasn’t allowed to be her fullest self. She’s very lively and creative. In the book, she is writing and we make rap songs and other things to call on our creativity. This book is an honoring. As I was honoring all parts of myself and healing my own emotional wounds, I was liberating her at the same time.

How would you describe your relationship with Durga Ma? How can others who are not Hindu achieve that sort of relationship with their metaphoric courage figure? 

Regarding Durga and myself, I don’t say, ‘I got this courage metaphor, now help me.’ You have to build a relationship with it. In the last eight years, I’ve been able to build a solid relationship with her where my courage is almost automatic. If I feel or think about fear, my automatic courage alert starts going off. The stronger connection I build to her, the stronger our relationship becomes, and the more self aware I become about making courageous choices. 

But, in the introduction of the book, I clarify that folks can use the Durga archetype or work with Durga whether they are Hindu or not. It doesn’t matter what walk of life you come from because she embodies victory over evil, maternal protection and an unapologetic courage that we need for fulfillment. So I encourage folks to connect with her because people who are meant to resonate with it will resonate with it and if Durga doesn’t resonate with you, you understand you have this courageous wisdom inside you. If telling my story about the way it looks for Durga and I, inspires somebody to ponder a relationship like that, that’s great! In the end, I just want folks to walk away feeling comforted and equipped with tools to be their most courageous selves.

How do you take this idea, this archetype, and apply it to yourself or anybody? 

We’re human beings and I think sometimes we just need something visual or tangible to hold on to. Sometimes I need an idea or person to help ground what’s coming up for me, so the metaphor is really helpful because I can visualize and interact with it.

 The metaphor offers information because when you’re scared and fear is clouding your judgment, it’s easy to default to doubt. Your courage metaphor offers information, encouragement or directions – targeted guidance. As long as you connect, communicate with and build a relationship with it, it will help you. That’s why I use “Dear Durga,” channeled writing, as a common thread throughout the book, it’s one modality that works. If this modality doesn’t work for you, then try interacting with it differently. But at the end of the day, regardless what modality you find, you can leverage that metaphor’s information to inform your next step.

How did motherhood and becoming a mother play a role in writing this book and also your career as a life coach? 

I started life coaching when I became a mother. I was pregnant while I was in my Life Coaching Certification Program, and Durga Ma showed up just a few months before I found out I was pregnant. I think she knew I was going into the next phase of my life, and I couldn’t continue on my own anymore. So motherhood was a huge act of courage for me. I left a toxic job so I could embark on motherhood and begin making professional choices that would support me once I became a mom. 

The beautiful thing about motherhood is that you become a different person – you change. Your ability to care, give, create and grow changes. Motherhood informed the work that I did with other women in their mind, body, spirit wellness and it forced me to focus on my own wellness. Also, Durga Ma just happens to be this maternal archetype, so maternal protection and nurturing felt important to my process as I was healing wounds. This is a powerful energy that can support other moms because we need support. We’re caring for little human beings and, as it is, most moms are under-resourced. Courage is a resource that doesn’t cost any money, that can help with life’s challenges.

Did you have to endure little battles with people around you to gain support for the kind of work that you do? 

I don’t think anyone around me discouraged me. The battle was within myself and having the courage to say, ‘I’m this life coach who’s going to focus on courage.’ I had to get over my own impostor syndrome, self doubt and fears that were weighing me down about coaching with this mindset among many other coaches. When I started, I was focusing so much on self care, but then I realized it’s so hard for women to self care because we have a fear of doing it. Everything goes back to fear. That’s why I realized the root of all of this is coming back to our courage. 

As an Indo Caribbean mother, there can be a lot of expectations. Did the courage framework also help with that? 

Absolutely. Most moms are givers, especially those of Indo Caribbean heritage. We saw our moms constantly sacrificing everything so we can have high-quality lives. But this trajectory of motherhood and bringing my courage in through my own framework forced me to ask for help, set boundaries and put my needs first. Obviously we put our children first, we’re always protecting them. But I began to honor myself. To realize I can honor myself and my needs while managing motherhood felt really important. But that doesn’t happen overnight. It takes time to do that because we’re breaking out of old patterns from our family’s example. This is why, in ‘Dear Durga’ I tell a lot of stories about my grandmother, because she was a major influence in what I thought motherhood should look like. 

Can this in turn create a healthier experience for the child?

Absolutely. You’re a demonstration to your children. Your children do not do what you say, they do what you do. I have daughters and a son, and I don’t want my daughters growing up thinking that when they get married or have kids and start a family, they have to clean the house all the time and never experience joy. I want them to see that Mommy can experience joy and fun and she can work, and she can do these things. It may not look perfect, but they can see that I can do all of these things without it costing my mental health and sanity. 

Do you have a favorite story that you use in this book for reference?

It’s not my favorite, but the story about my grandmother’s death and the shock that my family and I felt stands out the most. She was the matriarch and anchor to our maternal line. So, when she passed away, it created chaos. As a little girl, it wasn’t until she passed away that I questioned: ‘Who was she? What was her life like?’ It allowed me to see what my grandmother was like outside of being a grandmother. When the funeral happened, I heard stories about how she sacrificed, whether it was for her education or her family. It gave me perspective on everything that went into my family coming to the U.S. But it also made me think, now that I have the privilege and the opportunity to change things, am I going to take advantage of that?

Liu champions personal growth and overcoming fear, emboldening us to find our courage, be vocal about our needs and refute the age-old myth that Indo Caribbean women must struggle to be successful. “Dear Durga A Mom’s Guide to Activate Courage and Emerge Victorious” is now available for purchase.

By Usha Sookai

Usha Sookai is an undergraduate student at New York University, studying Journalism and Social and Cultural Analysis. With a passion … Read more ›

Deepa Prashad: Meet the Breakout Indo Caribbean Host Conquering Media and Sexism

Deepa Prashad
Deepa Prashad | Photo Credit: Talha Tabish

The expansion of digital content across radio, television and the internet has allowed audiences to engage with media rapidly. As technology advances, the entertainment industry has grown exponentially and people have a wealth of information at their fingertips in the blink of an eye. Since high school, Deepa Prashad was fascinated by this power of media and aspired to be an on-air personality who could interact with viewers through creative content whilst representing her Indo Caribbean heritage. After navigating the competitiveness of Canadian broadcast hosting for seven years, Prashad continues to push herself into various modalities of media and add to her growing successes, while championing others to share their own authentic content.


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[Read Related: Nancy Jay: Meet the Indo Caribbean Influencer Breaking the Mold]

Self-confidence and the desire to show a different perspective on entertainment prompted Prashad to be interested in broadcasting. While initially nervous about her family’s reaction to a nontraditional career path for Indo Caribbean women, Prashad received her parents’ full support and became the first person in her family to study broadcasting at Ryerson University in Toronto, Canada.

She began applying for television-hosting positions in her first year despite not having any experience or a finished degree, affirming, “I totally believed in myself and my capabilities.” 

In an interview with Prashad, we delve into her career path, diverse representation in media and her courage to create and promote content that reflects her individuality.

How did you begin your career in hosting and digital content production?

The kids channel I watched growing up, The Family Channel, was doing a nationwide casting call for their new TV host. The host would host interstitials between shows, digital series, and do TV show and movie interviews. I didn’t have an agent at the time so I applied on my own. I was called in for my first audition ever and it was quite shocking. A room full of 10 to 15 people just observing me as I delivered lines and did mock interviews for fake shows. Two months later, I was officially cast as the host of The Family Channel!

While ecstatic about her first job, Prashad was met with racism. She stated, 

Someone else, who applied for the position, made it a point to come up to me in person to say that they hoped I knew the only reason I got the job was because I was brown and the company obviously just needed to fill a quota.

Brushing the words aside, she continued hosting on The Family Channel for five years. She has also worked as an entertainment and food reporter on Canadian shows, Breakfast Television and Cityline. By advocating for herself as capable, personable and multifaceted, she did not shy away from new opportunities to advance her career and showcased herself as a leader who could resonate with broad audiences. 


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Wanting to explore new horizons, Prashad approached the social media company blogTO and pitched herself to be their first full-time video host focusing on Toronto food hotspots. After being hired, she visited multiple restaurants daily to host, film and edit her own content and curated personalized food videos for viewers to immerse themselves in. Prashad later forayed into the world of radio, one she never thought she would join but quickly fell in love with. She was most recently the first female voice on Toronto’s KISS 92.5 channels, The Roz and Mocha Show. Prashad enjoyed the greater flexibility of being on the radio compared to television and video hosting,

All I had to present was me. It became such a personal experience for me getting on that mic, sharing stories with listeners about the way I was raised, coming from a Guyanese household, being part of an (interfaiths marriage), [etc…] That created an incredibly strong bond between myself, our listeners and our friends that I’m so grateful for.

Tell us about your current position.

“I’m moving onto new adventures now and adding sports reporting under my belt. I will be joining BarDown | TSN to cover Formula 1, this includes doing content for TSN in the digital and TV space. I’ve never dabbled in the world of sports, so this is going to be an interesting new road for me.”

What topics are you most passionate about when creating digital content and why?

Food has to be my number one passion when it comes to digital content. Obviously I love eating and trying new things, but food is such a universal language. It connects people, it excites people and often teaches people about different cultures. I love to see how that content can generate conversations and I love to see when people admit they’ve never tried that particular food or cuisine, but added it to their list.

I also love creating Formula 1 content because Formula 1 is a massive passion of mine! I currently Twitch stream playing the Formula 1 video game F1 22. I’ve been on a pursuit to continuously learn more about the sport and to even get better at the game, because let’s be real, I’m terrible at it but I’m also OK with that!

Prashad is not immune to online mockery and negative comments about her work. When making the switch to Formula 1, she was ridiculed by some male viewers over her love of the sport and was inundated with comments like “Go back to the dishes” or “Go do laundry where you belong.” Antiquated and sexist notions about being a working woman in the media led to her looks being graded; there were comments regarding her extroverted personality and rampant discussions over her weight. There was a moment in her career where Prashad admits,

I actually wanted to make changes to myself — try to be a little less outgoing, not be so loud, change my hosting style from this incredibly bubbly style to a more laid back informative take.

Drawing on her self-belief, she soon realized that, “This doesn’t work for me. I began to appreciate all my quirks.” 


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Is there an area of hosting or content production that you believe you’re better at? 

I really love to host digital content in particular because there’s a certain freedom that comes with it. I don’t always have to be prim and proper like sometimes I do need to do for TV. I can be me — loud, goofy, and incredibly dorky. I never want to have two different personas — one for the public eye, and then a private. On social media, what you see is exactly what you get. Digital content has allowed me to love myself even more.

Prashad plans to continue in the industry for the foreseeable future. She recognizes the impact of being an Indo Caribbean woman at the forefront of media and defines her success as “…I can continue to represent my culture and how I make others feel.” Her best moments are connecting with others through their lived experiences and offering a different lens on growing up in Canada. 

How did you feel breaking into the industry as a woman of color? 

What a great feeling that was, and even better, being an Indo Caribbean woman. I went through my fair share of hardships. I’ve faced racism, sexism and bullying throughout my journey of getting to where I am today. But, I have stood up for myself every single time. I will never allow myself to be walked all over.  And believe me, people have attempted MANY times. But I pick myself back up and continue along my way. 

I think it really hit me that I was making an impact when I started to hear from people how much they related to my childhood stories, the way I was brought up, the movies I watched as a kid. It’s those moments that made me realize I accomplished my goal.


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How has your background influenced your interest in hosting and digital content production?

I never saw people like me in the media growing up. I always wanted to change that. I didn’t feel that I had anyone I could personally connect with when I watched TV. And to me that was always so mind blowing because the media, although so broad, is such a personal industry. 

I have always been proud to say on air that I’m a Guyanese woman. I have made it a point to fight for more Caribbean content on air. I’ve made it a point to share stories about my family, where they came from, and even the experiences I’ve had growing up in a Guyanese family. Promoting Caribbean culture in general has always been important to me. And progress has been made! At my previous radio job, I pushed incredibly hard to start interviewing Caribbean artists and to highlight them. I had the opportunity to interview artists like Sean Paul, Kes and Konshens and those interviews aired nationally which was massive.


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Prashad often infuses cultural content into her work by showcasing Indian and Caribbean food, offering Bollywood movie recommendations, detailing her trips to Guyana, talking about new music and sharing information about Caribbean events in Toronto. She does not believe that cultural content needs to be pared down for the masses but instead advocates for aspiring Indo Caribbean creators to keep releasing diverse and authentic content that is representative of themselves.

She notes that the Indo Caribbean experience is not a monolith and that,

We need more representation! What feels most authentic to you can be vastly different from other content creators. I don’t think there’s a right or wrong way of creating content, but the best version of content you’re going to create is when you’re being true to who you are, and having fun.

At only 27 years old, Prashad’s journey has taken her across multiple forms of media. From interviewing Hollywood and Bollywood celebrities to hosting various television shows and being an online and radio voice, she continues to explore different mediums as a means of storytelling and connection. Hardships were plenty during Prashad’s rise to fame, but a steady belief in herself and a willingness to take on new endeavors with authenticity have provided her the grit to overcome challenges. 

Prashad is eagerly awaiting to leap into her next digital venture and is actively commending more Indo Caribbean content creators to step into the spotlight with their own personal stories.  

By Priya Deonarine

Priya D. Deonarine, M.S, NCSP, is the quintessential Pisces who has been dramatically shaped by her experiences and emotions. She … Read more ›