“Soft” shows us how we often do not always understand what people are going through, even with our best efforts. Only they, the person with the experience, can wholeheartedly live through it and comprehend it. I wrote “Soft” with a lot of frustration and a hint of anger because I think it’s disingenuous when people say they can completely empathize with someone else. Empathy is deeper than just acknowledgment. And people serve true empathy when they can impart empathy on themselves.

Also, “Soft” reflects the pain of not fitting in or growing up with a different personality and upbringing. Personally, I’m on my own journey to gaining acceptance from others while being my true self. I aim to step away from pride and arrogance. I feel shy when I’m honest with myself, but I also feel gently raw. The truth holds me. Ironically, “Soft” took the most strength and guts to write. It’s hard to be soft, but it takes a lot of humility to make it happen.

[Read Related: Uncovering the Brown Boy in Hiding Through Poetry]

“Yawning Ocean” reflects the difficulty of loving someone. There is the fear of betrayal. Yet sometimes, we cannot help how we feel, because love is a strong emotion that overrides logic and becomes overwhelming. Even if we want to play it safe or know it is not the right time or person, we’re haunted by love.

Love is always a risk but we take it anyway. We either get hurt or flourish in grace.

“Yawning Ocean” comes from my experiences with love as a young woman with a cultural perspective. South Asians may have similar anxieties about love. Our culture treats love like a taboo subject; it can be hard to feel free. Besides, dating someone is quite a scary business because it’s hard to truly know a person. And we’re extra careful with who we trust because we don’t want to be let down, bullied or hurt. The past makes us worry, sometimes unnecessarily. Yet, this is human nature, the condition we have to live with. “Yawning Ocean” aims to normalise the idea that it’s okay to feel a little lost and uncertain.

[Read Related: The Nostalgia of Love and the Sorrow of Breaking Up]

Overall, the poems in my book, Burnt Bones and Beautiful Butterflies, chronicle my personal experiences in an eloquent, biting way. I have been through grief, pain and sorrow, but I’ve also had even more pleasurable moments of joy. This book is a collection of both the good and the bad. Burnt Bones and Beautiful Butterflies shows us that although life may present unpleasant circumstances, we can still rise above that and still find some sunshine in the rain. It’s an exploration of deep things in a simple way. My goal is to surprise readers with my frankness. I want them to see beauty in the midst of the brokenness.

Burnt Bones and Beautiful Butterflies tells people that they are not alone in their challenges. Hopefully, they can relate to some of my poetry and experiences.

[Read Related: On Dreaming, Dissociating, and Meditating]

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You can read “Soft” and “Yawning Ocean” in Jerusha Mather‘s poetry book, Burnt Bones and Beautiful Butterflies. Grab a copy on Amazon and follow her poetry-gram page to keep up with her latest projects.

The opinions expressed by the guest writer/blogger and those providing comments are theirs alone and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of Brown Girl Magazine, Inc., or any employee thereof. Brown Girl Magazine is not responsible for the accuracy of any of the information supplied by the guest writer/bloggers. This work is the opinion of the blogger. It is not the intention of Brown Girl Magazine to malign any religion, ethnic group, club, organization, company, or individual. If you’d like to submit a guest post, please follow the guidelines we’ve set forth here.

By Jerusha Mather

Jerusha Mather is an instagram poet from Melbourne, Australia. She was born in Sri Lanka where the doctors said she … Read more ›

Photo by kittirat roekburi via Shutterstock.com

Social media has stretched a number of news headlines:

“Social media rots kids’ brains.”

“Social media is polarizing.”

Yet those most affected by social media ideals are the teenage users. Apps like Instagram and TikTok perpetuate an image of perfection that is captured in pictures and 30-second videos. As a result, many young women chase this expectation endlessly. “Her” personifies this perfection in an unattainable figure the narrator has always wished to be. These ideals deteriorate mental health, create body dysmorphia, promote a lack of self-esteem, and much more. Even so, social media is plagued by filters and editing—much of what we hope to achieve isn’t even real. Therefore, young women, much like the narrator of “Her,” strive for a reality that doesn’t even exist.

[Read Related: The Emotional Roller Coaster of Getting Your Legs Waxed for the First Time]

Her

When she walked into my life
Her smile took up two pages of description
In a YA novel.
My arms could wrap around her waist twice
If she ever let anyone get that close
Her hair whipped winds with effortless beach waves
And a hint of natural coconut
Clothing brands were created around her
“One Size Fits All” one size to fit the girl who has it all
With comments swarning in hourglasses
But when sharp teeth nip at her collar,
She could bite back biting back
And simply smirked with juicy apple lips
Red hearts and sympathy masking condescension
“My body doesn’t take away from the beauty of yours”
“We are all equal, we are all beautiful”
Beauty
A sword she wields expertly
Snipping, changing,
Aphrodite in consistent perfection
Cutting remarks with sickly sweet syrup
And an innocent, lethal wink
When she walked into my life
She led my life.
My wardrobe winter trees
Barren, chopped in half
Unsuited for the holidays
Mirrors were refracted under in my gaze
Misaligned glass was the only explanation
For unsymmetrical features
And broken hands
Still I taped them fixed
Over and over
Poking, prodding
Hoping to mold stomach fat like wet clay
Defy gravity,
Move it upward
To chest
Instead of sagging beneath a belt on the last hole
In the spring
She would stir me awake at 2 AM
“You need to be me”
Lies spilled from her tongue but
Solidified, crystallized
Fabrication spelled dichotomy
And I drifted farther out to sea
When she walked out of my life,
I was drowning.
Reliance had me capsized
Others witnessed
Furrowed brows and glances away
Like spectators of a shark attack
They can watch but the damage is done
They clung to my mangled pieces
Gravestones spelled
“Stressed”
“Depressed”
But I was mourning too
Today I looked back at my mirror
But glass turned into prism
Broken pieces rainbow
Colors coating clothes
She didn’t pick
Aphrodite
Perception changing
She wasn’t perfect
Just lost at sea

[Read Related: Finding Freedom from Gender Roles Through Poetry]

The opinions expressed by the guest writer/blogger and those providing comments are theirs alone and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of Brown Girl Magazine, Inc., or any employee thereof. Brown Girl Magazine is not responsible for the accuracy of any of the information supplied by the guest writer/bloggers. This work is the opinion of the blogger. It is not the intention of Brown Girl Magazine to malign any religion, ethnic group, club, organization, company, or individual. If you’d like to submit a guest post, please follow the guidelines we’ve set forth here.

By Kashvi Ramani

Kashvi Ramani is a writer, actress, songwriter, and singer from Northern Virginia. She has been writing songs, poetry, scripts, and … Read more ›

Photo Courtesy of Varsha Panikar

“After so Long” is a poetry film created for Simha’s EP, which is streaming on Spotify, Apple Music and Amazon Music. The poem was collaboratively written by Simha, a U.S. native, and Jae, who is based in India, during the 2020 lockdown. “After so Long” was recited by Simha and their parents. In 2022, I directed and produced the film through my studio, Star Hopper. “After so Long” premiered on Nowness Asia in March 2022.

By Varsha Panikar

Varsha Panikar (they/he) is a filmmaker, writer and multi-disciplinary artist from India. They are the co-founder of Star Hopper, a … Read more ›

Photo by Simple Line via Shutterstock.com

“Confessions to a Moonless Sky” is a meditation on the new moon and guilt. I wrote it when I was living in Dallas and was driving back from a dusk prayer. The new moon terrified me on that drive. I was diseased by the knowledge that my partner, at the time, had seen the worst parts of me. There’s immense shame in this piece—it seized my self-image. If the moon could become brand new, then I could start over.

I often ponder on the moon’s reflective nature and pairs of eyes. I’m hyper-fixated on how I am seen by others. Unfortunately, the brilliance of seeing your reflection in another person leads to negativity. After all, those who are too keen on their own reflection are the same people who suffer from it. It is possible to use shame to fuel one’s retribution and personal growth, without becoming consumed by it.

We can look to Shah Rukh Khan succumbing to alcoholism in his own sorrow and then later imbibing his sadness in Chandramukhi. “Confessions to a Moonless Sky” is a lesson for us: Don’t be Shah Rukh Khan in Devdas, instead embody pre-incarnation Shah Rukh Khan in Om Shanti Om!

[Read Related: Uncovering the Brown Boy in Hiding Through Poetry]

Confessions to a Moonless Sky

Sometimes when the moon abandons the sky, I wonder if I drove her away.

If she comes back, will she be the same? How I wish she would come back new, truly new! That way she’d have no memory of the sin I’ve confessed to her. You noxious insect. Sin-loving, ego-imbibing pest. You are no monster, for at least a monster has ideology, it sins with purpose. You sin just to chase ignominy.

But the moon won’t say that, she never does. She’ll just leave the sky and return days later, slowly. And I’ll wonder if she’s new, perhaps she won’t remember my past confessions. What does it matter? Were the moon replaced with one from a different god, I’d drive her away, too.

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By Umrao Shaan

Umrao Shaan is a short storyist, poet, and ghazals singer. You can find his songs on his Instagram. His other … Read more ›