Mom on a Mission: Reframing the ‘Mom Guilt’ Conversation

mom guilt

by Kamana

This post was originally posted on Social and Style and is republished with permission. All photos are courtesy of the blog’s founder, Kamana Sharma. 

Three weeks ago, I had my first outing as a new mom. Even though I planned well in advance to be away from home and made sure Baby Aadhav was well taken care of, I still felt pangs of mom guilt that I was leaving my little one. Chatting with other moms, I realized that mom guilt is a very normal thing.

Over the weekend, I shared with my mom how it’s been so emotionally tough to leave the baby. My mom assured me that my feelings are normal but then said something I didn’t expect. She told me I needed to reframe how I was thinking. Having raised my sister and me on her own, my mom said that she too felt guilty working long hours and being away from home—but she was on a mission to give us the best life possible. That mission drove her to raise her two daughters, excel in her career, and be a pillar of the community with all her energy and heart.

[Read Related: Capturing Childhood: How to Take Great Photos of Children]

Now when I do have to leave Baby Aadhav, I tell myself I am on a mission—to give my baby the best life possible. Whether I am leaving for a meeting, workout, even a quick grocery trip—I tell myself I am on a mission! I feel more energy when I am out, get things done quicker, and feel stronger both emotionally and physically. I do still give Baby Aahdav tons of hugs and kisses when I get home but from the smiles and giggles—I don’t think he minds.

Below, I put together a list of thoughts that have helped me reframe my feelings of mom guilt.

1. Define your own success.

Before I had Baby Aadhav, I measured myself on how much I achieved in a day, week, month, year, etc. Now my first priority is my baby and his well being. I prioritize based on his needs and try not to focus on trying to do it all. Being present, enjoying this time, and redefining how I measure success have helped me manage my time and energy.

[Read More: 7 Simple Ways to Raise a Confident Child ]

2. Seek support. 

It’s okay to ask for help. When I was eight months pregnant, I started having someone come to the house to help with cooking once a week. For the longest time, I refused to have someone help since I thought I should be able to manage. Thankfully we found someone within our budget who can cook a week of food in three hours! Having support in even one area like cooking frees up a lot of my time.

3. Celebrate joys, both big and small. 

Celebrate and make memories with your little one. For each month during Aadhav’s first year, we have a little celebration. I get a small cake and take photos to capture how Aadhav is growing.

4. Recalibrate. 

Every few weeks, I try to take some time to reflect on how the baby is doing, what his needs are, what our family’s needs are and my own needs. Based on this, I re-prioritize my approach, time, and energy.

Mommas, I would love to hear your experience dealing with mom guilt in the comments section below!


Kamana Sharma of Social&Style is a fashion and lifestyle blogger. She loves fashion, fitness, travel, and supporting strong and talented South Asian women. A Washington D.C. native, Kamana currently lives in Singapore with her husband and had a baby boy this September!


By Brown Girl Magazine

Brown Girl Magazine was created by and for South Asian womxn who believe in the power of storytelling as a … Read more ›