by Rani Shah – Follow @raanstermonster
Disclaimer: The article below is satire republished from Fuss Class News.
WASHINGTON D.C. – The Trump administration has recently met with controversy after their apparent support and endorsement of the South Asian Fuckboy Association (SAFA). Fuss Class reporters discovered close to $50,000 dollars in donations that SAFA accepted from the Trump administration over the last month.
When asked why President Trump would support such a niche organization, SAFA responded, “It’s great how our communication strategy of SnapChatting girls and never being able to have deep conversations in person without gas-lighting is exemplified by this administration,” remarked Dishan S., President of the SAFA and recent ITT Tech grad, who prides himself on flirting with girls that are still in college and notably younger than him while he himself graduated over three years ago.
Fuss Class News dropped in on a biweekly SAFA meeting to better understand the inner workings of the organization.
Members sit in chairs arranged in a large circle while blasting Drake and having fervent discussions about how much they “dropped on bottle service last night.” Clad in ‘Life of Pablo‘ merchandising and an undercut hairstyle – SAFA members start out each meeting by chanting their mantra, “I’m not like other guys. You can trust me.” After the chant, each member begins talking about how their male friends in healthy, committed relationships are ‘whipped.’
When asked about their views on the current administration, Harish K., Communications Officer of SAFA, was unavailable to comment, however, he did text Fuss Class News saying, “k, stop acting like a bitch.”
SAFA’s sister organization, the Dramatic Brown Girl Collective (DBGC), was also unavailable for comment about any alternative facts.
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Rani Shah is the founder and writer for Fuss Class News, a South Asian satire site. Her hatred of lettuce and appreciation of sprinkles means her friend circle has very interesting dinner parties.