We’ve all been there—scrolling through our phones and looking at pictures from a few years ago. You look back and cherish all the fond memories. As you continue to scroll, a photo pops up of you and your childhood best friend… You wonder how they’re doing. And later go on a downward spiral wondering if they ever kept their promise in pursuing their passions, or if that one particular phase they went through ended. (We’ve all had our phases—I had a terrible boy phase in high school.) Then, a feeling occurs in the pit of your stomach. You remember how things ended. You start to blame yourself: if only you didn’t start that fight or you wish you had put more effort into the friendship.

[Read Related: 7 Bollywood Moms I Can Relate to: There is a Bollywood Mom for Every Occasion]

My childhood best friend and I did everything together growing up. We had sleepovers, dance practice, and went to family and friends’ functions. My childhood best friend was two years younger than me, so naturally, we grew apart when I went to college and she was still in high school. I was surrounded by new experiences: sororities, concerts, pulling my first all-nighter or having my first shot of alcohol—you name it. During college, I stopped going to family functions, sleepovers, and later joined my college dance team. I didn’t realize how much I neglected my childhood best friend until she enrolled in the same university and wasn’t as excited to hang out with me.

I was confused, hurt; I wondered why MY person didn’t want to spend time with me like the old days? Or, why she didn’t have room for me to go with her to parties or events. It felt even worse to be passive-aggressively dismissed. I later noticed she would stop hyping me on my Instagram pictures and would continue to keep her distance. (I don’t care how close you are. If you don’t hype up your best friend on her Instagram pictures where she’s being vulnerable and putting herself out there then you’re not a true friend—just saying.)

Anyway, we went to the same college, lived on the same campus and yet didn’t have the slight inkling to meet up. Now you must be wondering, why didn’t you be honest with her? Tell her how much you miss her. It’s not as easy as it seems because even after telling her about how I felt, things didn’t go back to the way they were. I was once told that when a cup breaks you can mend it together but the crack will always remain. If the same effort is not mutually received in a friendship, then it comes down to whether it’s really worth the effort in the first place.

Now, this article isn’t about my personal relationship, it’s safe to say that it’s okay to grow apart from a friendship. It’s okay to have different interests, make new friends, and take some time for yourself. There are so many guides on how to get over a breakup with a significant other, but there aren’t many guides on breaking up with your best friend. When you break up with a significant other, you always have your best friend to console and support you. But when THAT supports leaves, life becomes ever more difficult. Your achievements don’t feel that great, going to events isn’t the same, and even having your favorite pani puri from your Nani doesn’t FEEL THAT GREAT.

[Read Related: 10 Bollywood Movies to Binge-Watch in Honor of Friendship Day]

So, here are five things Bollywood movies taught me about getting over a friendship.

(If you still haven’t been able to see these (movies) gems…SPOILER ALERT!)

1. ‘Jab We Met’: Flush the pictures down the toilet

Okay, it doesn’t need to be as dramatic. But, try not to see what they’re up to in life too much. How can we do this, you ask? Turn all notifications from your ex-best friend off, this way you’re not getting pop-up messages about when Shefali added a new photo or when Varun changes his relationship status from “it’s complicated” to “engaged.”

2. ‘Kal Ho Na Ho’: Smile more, please

That moment when Aman told Naina to smile more, and suddenly she started to be happy and her life became immediately better. Okay, maybe it had to do with the fact that she was in love, but looking at life in a positive light is important. Do not look at this friendship as a heartbreak, but as a growing experience.

3. ‘Dear Zindagi’: Go find friends again

Dr. Jehangir tries to help Kaira with her insomnia and realizes that after Kaira’s breakup with her childhood sweetheart she is unable to commit to relationships. When my best friend and I started to grow apart, I promised myself I would never get attached to anyone. I was afraid of making friends because I did NOT want to be that vulnerable again. But, this is not a good way of living, you need to surround yourself with people you can count on. You need to make experiences and share them with your loved ones.

It took some time, but I started to be open with people who had the same mindset. I started joining groups of people with similar interests that motivated each other to be the best that they can be.

4. ‘Kapoor and Sons’: Not all friendships will be perfect, but they’ll be worth it

The movie shows that no family is perfect, but the meaning of family is unconditional love to any end. When starting to make friendships, you must realize that not all friendships are going to be perfect. This should not scare you but should challenge you to be open to compromise. I was super sensitive when initially creating new friendships, and every little thing someone did that I didn’t like would cause me to question the friendship. Again, I was scared to create a long-lasting friendship, but when you meet someone that accepts your flaws you should be able to accept their flaws as well.

5. ‘Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara’: You only live once!

Overall, Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara. Do not hide. Live in the present. Push yourself out of your comfort zone. And, just because you feel alone right now does not mean you’ll never find your person.

By Trisha Batra

If you are a South Asian, born in the ’80s or the early ’90s, chances are your ideas of love and romance are heavily influenced by Hindi films — that first gaze, the secret love notes, that accidental meeting somewhere in Europe, over-the-top gestures and dancing around trees. While reality may have been far from what was promised on reel, you still can’t stop pining over a hopeless romantic, with chocolate boy looks, chasing you across the earth and many universes; in the life here and the ones after. Somewhere deep down, you still dream of that possibility despite your husband sitting and sipping his morning coffee right next to you. And much of the credit for weaving this dreamland, that we can’t resist happily sliding into, goes to the legendary Yash Chopra. Award-winning filmmaker Smriti Mundhra’s docu-series, “The Romantics,” that released on Netflix on February 14, chronicles Chopra’s prolific career; offering an illuminating look into the highs and lows of his journey, his unblemished vision for Hindi cinema and sheer love for filmmaking. 

I wanted to look at Indian cinema through the lens of it being a major contributor to the global cinema canon and Yash Chopra seemed like the perfect lens to explore that because of the longevity of his career and the fact that he had worked across so many different genres. His films, for so many of us, defined what Hindi cinema is.

— Smriti Mundhra

As “The Romantics” unveils, in a mere episode — a challenging feat in itself — Chopra did experiment with multiple genres as a budding filmmaker, initially under the shadows of his elder brother B.R. Chopra. From the religiously sensitive “Dharamputra” and the trendsetting “Waqt” to the action-packed and iconic “Deewaar.” It wasn’t until later on in his career that he set a precedent for a Hindi film having a wholly romantic narrative; though “Waqt” did offer the perfect glimpse into what would go on to become Chopra’s cinematic imprint. And then came “Chandni” which ushered in a new era for Hindi cinema; defying the formulaic approach to box office success and making love stories the golden goose.

In the words of more than 30 famous faces, a host of archival videos and interviews, and personal anecdotes, audiences get an extensive insight into the life and career of Yash Chopra and the evolution of his vision through the business acumen and genius of his polar opposite son and a famous recluse, Aditya Chopra. “The Romantics” is not a fancy portrait of a legendary filmmaker but an exploration of what goes into making a successful film family and a path-breaking production house. As viewers, we not only get a peek into the making of a fantasy creator but also learn of the many failures, hurdles and uncertainties that the business of filmmaking comes packaged in, the impact of socio-political shifts on the kind of content being produced and demanded, and just how much control we have as an audience over the fate of the film and the filmmaker.

For both the uninitiated and fanatics, there are some interesting revelations like Shah Rukh Khan’s lifelong desire to become an action hero as opposed to a romantic one and the creative conflict between Aditya Chopra and his father Yash Chopra on the sets of “Dilwale Dulhania Le Jaayenge” — a project that, surprisingly, did not seem too promising to the latter. Mundhra penetrates deep into the family’s history and industry relationships evoking some really candid conversations; almost as if these celebs were eagerly waiting for their moment to speak. With one appraising interview after the other, it’s a panegyric that does border on being a tad tedious but there is enough depth and fodder in there to keep one hooked. Kudos to Mundhra for managing to achieve cohesion despite there being more than enough material to chew on. In the process of bringing this project to life, Mundhra also ends up achieving a number of milestones: one that the series features the last of actor Rishi Kapoor’s interviews and two, it brings Aditya Chopra, who, it appears, can talk a blue streak contrary to popular belief, to the front of the camera after almost two decades. The moment when he puts the nepotism debate to rest by referring to his brother’s catastrophic attempt at acting is quite the show-stealer.

 

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At some point during the four-episode series, you might question if it’s fair to credit the Yash Raj family for being the only real changemakers of the Hindi film industry and for picking up the baton to get Hindi cinema the global recognition that it has. But then there is no denying the Chopra clan’s body of work, their ability to understand what pleases the crowd and their commitment towards growth and progress amidst changing times and technology — Yash Raj Studios is in fact the only privately held and one of the biggest, state-of-the-art film studios in India. Chopra’s career and legacy are in no way under-lit that Mundhra can claim to throw new light on with “The Romantics.” But what she really has on offer here are sheer nostalgia, some fascinating discoveries and an ode to a cinephile and his art with a bit of fan service.

In an interview with Brown Girl Magazine, Mundhra discusses why it was so important for Chopra to be the subject of her docu-series, her own learnings during the series’ research and creative process and her accomplishment of getting Aditya Chopra to talk, and that too, at length.

By Nida Hasan

Editor by profession, writer by passion, and a mother 24/7, Nida is a member of Brown Girl Lifestyle's editing team … Read more ›