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Unpacking the Definition of ‘A Perfect Guy’

4 min read

Anonymous – 

“The Perfect Guy.” What the hell does that mean? What qualities is this magical man supposed to possess? Is he supposed to please everyone he comes into contact with? Sure, perfection is something that is hard to identify; it’s not tangible. However, it’s not impossible to find someone that you see as perfection in your eyes.

There is a catch, though. Until you don’t figure out what exactly you are looking for down to the tee, you won’t know when this perfect man crosses your path. Otherwise, the first guy that says the right things, gives you the right compliments, and sends you some flowers – you will automatically think he’s the one!  For the first time, I am finally taking the time to come up with a detailed analysis, if you will, of the perfect man. I’m holding onto that thread of faith that these thoughts will help the universe bring to life this perfect man.

For starters, a sense of humor. How is one supposed to go through life without laughter? Don’t get me wrong, there are definitely times for seriousness: important decision-making, talk about the future, the house, kids and the whole nine yards. But aside from that, this perfect guy will be there to make you laugh so hard on days you don’t even want to smile. A sense of humor is so important in a relationship because it means that neither person is taking the relationship and life for that matter too seriously.

[Read More: ‘Finding the Beauty in Your Live-In Relationship’]

A sense of humor tells me that this guy is one to laugh his way through life, including every roadblock, obstacle or hurdle that comes his way. A sense of humor tells me that this guy believes laughter is good for the soul. A sense of humor tells me that even in the darkest of hours this guy will still look at the glass as half-full (and probably crack a joke or two!)

“Family, familia, ‘ohana,’ famille,” and the list goes on. No matter what language you say it in, family isn’t an important thing- it’s everything. The way I feel about my family is how I want my future children to feel about theirs. I could go on and on about how much these people mean to me but in my eyes, the perfect guy will also possess similar feelings about his family. I will be able to see years into the future the minute I see how this man treats his mom.

I really am an old soul and believe that a true gentleman who treats his mom well, will treat the girl he’s with like complete royalty. The way this man speaks of his family will tell me how strongly he feels about them.They may drive us crazy, but at the end of the day, they are our entire universe and we are nothing without them. The perfect guy will never feel jealously, intimidation, or fear with the bond I share with my family, but rather, will want to embrace it and join in.

According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, to be ambitious means “having a desire to be successful, powerful, or famous.” For me, this certainly defines the kind of guy I want to do life with – someone who is constantly shooting for the moon. Someone who is not following his dreams, but rather chasing them. I need to be with someone who is always working to climb that ladder and won’t settle because he’s just comfortable where he is.

There is no salary that dictates how ambitious one is allowed to be. You don’t have to bring in six figures a year to want to climb the ladder to success, but you sure as hell have to try. I grew up seeing hard work, perseverance and determination vividly with my own two eyes. For someone to tell me they don’t want to work their way up the ladder to success because they are comfortable where they are at tells me that when push comes to shove, they won’t want to put in the work for betterment of our family.

It’s totally normal to want nice things. What girl doesn’t want nice purses and jeans? However, being down-to-earth is actually a quality I find most attractive in this perfect man because it tells me that he’s perfectly content with simplicity and delicacy. One of the thousands of lessons I learned growing up was a simple rule of thumb: the person standing next to you should never know how much money you have in your wallet. That doesn’t mean you can’t wear nice things, but it definitely means you don’t have to verbalize it. This perfect guy who possesses this down to earth personality is so attractive, because I know that no matter how high he climbs that ladder of success, he will always stay grounded, and better yet keep me grounded.

I will be the first to admit, growing up with Bollywood, I can understand why someone may think that I have lost my mind in thinking this perfect man exists. My response to that, though, is that if I have learned anything in this life, it’s that I refuse to settle for anything less than what I deserve. Why should I settle for some low-key loser just because the clock is ticking? The perfect man should be the guy that brings out the best in me, makes me want to be a better person and falls in love with every ounce of me: on my good days and bad.

After all, this is supposed to be the guy I want to do life with. Perfection does not exist, but someone exists who I will one day see as perfect, or rather, perfectly imperfect. It’s now time for me to leave it up to the big man upstairs and the rest of the universe to bring this perfect man to life!

Anonymous was born and raised in Chicago and love creative writing.