• Subscribe to The Spark

    A curated newsletter full of dinner-table worthy topics, thought provoking stories, promo codes and the spiciest memes straight to your inbox.

Finding My “Life Line” in My Poetry

2 min read

Life Line explores the subtle nature of abuse that isn’t outwardly understood or spoken about. It captures the high’s and low’s of unhealthy relationships. As I wrote more about trauma, toxic relationships, I realized how abuse can effortlessly mimic love. Emotional and mental wounds are rarely seen, but we feel them immensely.

“I crave a love that feels safe” speaks to how love and pain are often seen as one in the same. When the only love we get is tainted with so much agony, what does it truly become? How do we define love? How do we trust ourselves to really understand love? In the moment when something doesn’t feel right, it’s incredibly difficult to put that emotion into words, especially when we normalize abusive behaviours as love.

[Read Related: Poetry that Reflects the Fire Inside]

Life Line isn’t healing. This book will not hold your hand, but it will help you realize your emotions. I hope that it teaches you that what you went through is the beginning of your healing and will one day culminate into what you truly deserve. Importantly, I want readers to tolerate nothing less than what they deserve.

This preview of poems from Life Line highlight betrayal. I think the deepest betrayals that leave the most painful scars are often the ones that transform us. Ironically, betrayal is one of the most hurtful feelings, yet it often comes from the people you love and trust the most. Emotions have infinite layers, and nothing is ever black or white. Life Line is a study on what is meant to stay and what is meant to go away in our lives.

[Read Related: ‘Abandoned Mask’: Reflecting on the Consequences of a Dual Identity on Halloween]

Page 95

what hurt me the most was
when I managed to take the
knife out from my back–
it wasn’t the pain of it all
it was that I never thought you’d be the one
with my blood on your hands

I trusted you

[Read Related: Sarah Yusuf Uses Poetry to Express her Pansexuality]

Page 46

when I feel pain, I feel it till it destroys me
like a tormented cyclone
taking over the land from the sea
my pain is a wrath, seeking havoc
a mind of its own, it controls me
I pour, I destroy, I cry
like a waterfall thrashing a thousand feet
into a bed of rocks
when I feel, I feel
pain claims the world in me
I claim the world before me
I feel what I need to
so it no longer destroys me

I control it before it controls me

[Read Related: Processing Relationships After Sexual Assault]

Page 157

I crave a love that feels safe

You can get your own copy of Shyanah’s poetry book, Life Line, on Amazon. Follow her Instagram to keep up with her upcoming projects and get a daily dose of her poetry.

[Read Related: Healing From a Word in Pain]

The opinions expressed by the guest writer/blogger and those providing comments are theirs alone and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of Brown Girl Magazine, Inc., or any employee thereof. Brown Girl Magazine is not responsible for the accuracy of any of the information supplied by the guest writer/bloggers. This work is the opinion of the blogger. It is not the intention of Brown Girl Magazine to malign any religion, ethnic group, club, organization, company, or individual. If you’d like to submit a guest post, please follow the guidelines we’ve set forth here.