April 24, 2022April 24, 2022 8min readBy Brina Patel
Nabila Ismail isn’t your average PharmD. She works for GoodRx by day, but she spends her time off the clock creating content, building an online travel community, expanding her brand Dose of Travel and getting lost in exotic locales worldwide. Having visited 42 countries, many of them solo, the 27-year-old is on a mission to bring her passion for wanderlust to South Asian travelers. Nabila’s amassed a combined Instagram and TikTok following of over 50k and provides tips and insights into seeing the world on a budget. She also recently started the South Asians Who Travel Facebook group, a space for brown folks to discuss all things representation and community in travel.
Brown Girl Mag contributor Brina Patel caught up with Nabila when she was in New York City, and here’s what Nabila had to say about her journey, the future of her brand and words of advice for those who want to add a dose of travel to their lives.
Patel: What initially sparked your wanderlust?
Ismail: The key memory I have is when I was a freshman in high school. I had a French student live with me for two weeks. My school offered this, and I was like, “Mom, Dad. We’re having a French student come live with us.” [Laughs] We got to host for two weeks, and then we got to live with them for two weeks. We went to a suburb right outside of Paris, and I was enamored. It was so cool, and my parents were so supportive of it. I was fortunate to have that one experience. I never thought it could happen again, or [that it could be] something I could frequently do.
Fast-forward to me constantly doing this. My best friend from high school was born and raised in Germany. Instead of going off to college as everyone else did, she took a gap year and became an au pair. I had no idea what that was. I thought it was really out there. Over winter break, I [visited] her and learned exactly what an au pair was. The summer after freshman year, I went off to be an au pair in Spain. And then I realized that [travel] was a whole culture and so many people were doing it. I never stopped.
P: When did you begin to share more of your travel experiences on social media?
I: I had an Instagram and a blog on Bloggerspot — I don’t even think that exists anymore. [Laughs] I wanted to go to fashion school, so I used to post daily outfit pics. When I went to Spain solo, I started posting and talking about what I was doing, like “What is an au pair? How can I afford it?” It was also my way of telling my mom I was okay. I didn’t have a niche or a theme back then. I’d travel, then come back to school and post about that. It wasn’t until a few years after when I was like, “Oh, I’m onto something here.” People would ask, “What are you doing? How are you doing that?” So, it slowly turned into pharmacy and travel. Because nobody really talks about pharmacy, either. It became the Dose of Travel when I got accepted into pharmacy school my sophomore year of college.
P: Speaking of pharmacy school, that’s not an easy feat to accomplish. How were you able to balance studying and eventually your career, with travel?
I: I’m an oddball when it comes to this. I only achieve when I’m very busy and have different facets of my life catered to and things to look forward to. I like to have my hands on a lot of things, and that’s how I keep my motivation. School was one part — I made it clear that I was not going to make school my everything. I had 3 or 4 jobs when I was in school to afford travel. In summers, I took off to travel. I saw the end goal — “3 more months, and I’m out of here.” I also had a pharmacy internship to build my resumé, so I checked off those boxes. It was all part of a master plan.
P: There is a misconception about travel being an expensive endeavor. I know you focus on budget travel and budget travel tips. What specific hacks do you use?
I: First, I will say that I know I’m privileged, in the sense that I have an American passport and can go to many places. My parents did pay for my rent [during school], so anything that I earned with those jobs was essentially disposable income.
I found the cheapest ways to possibly travel. I was willing to work, I was willing to learn, and I wanted to be in a local environment. I looked at work exchange opportunities, where they’d give me free housing — usually, housing and accommodation is the most expensive part of travel, after flights. I’d look for those opportunities to work 3-4 hours a day, get a place to stay, occasionally free food. And then my money, I would just need for visas, transportation, excursions. But my basics were covered. So if I was solo traveling, I knew I had a place to sleep and wasn’t scared.
I [also] found myself in positions to essentially barter. [Laughs] I was an au pair in Italy in a small town near Verona. My host dad took me to a winery, and the owner was like, “You’re American. You can speak fluent English. I’ve been trying to learn.” And I was like, “Yeah, I can help you.” He said, “Will you be my tutor? In exchange, I’ll take you around town, and we can explore. I’ll take you to my favorite places.” So, he would pick me up, and we would go to the lake, and I would just get a meal out of it. I met a local person, and I still talk to [him] to this day.
Another hack is I choose destinations based on flight prices. Although I have a bucket list of dream places, I don’t normally hit them right away. If I find a deal from Scott’s Cheap Flights, I’ll go to that random country and do my research. For example, I went to Ecuador. I flew on Christmas Eve, which is the most expensive time to fly, but I only had a week off from work, and I wasn’t wasting it. Ecuador was the cheapest place to fly that I hadn’t already been to. So, I was like, “I’m going to Ecuador!”
There are a bunch of scholarships out there that they don’t tell you about in school. I would also say differentiating between vacation versus travel. When you think of vacation, you think resorts are super expensive, a luxury. Whereas travel [is] a way of life, I was trying to extend it past a week or two.
P: What visions do you have for the future of your brand, Dose of Travel?
I: I feel like a lot of the things that have happened have been by chance or have just come to me. Like when I started this whole Instagram, I just started posting. I love taking photos, and I love keeping track of my own memories. I was doing something out of the box, and even I couldn’t believe it. That’s where it started from, and that’s still the place where it’s at. It makes me feel good, and I genuinely enjoy it.
I didn’t even tailor my [content] to South Asians until I realized other people were like, “I’ve never seen a South Asian person traveling.” I didn’t see a lot of other people who looked like me and thought there was something to talk about there. I never talked about my background or who I was. It was mostly what I was seeing and experiencing until people started bringing it up.
That’s how the whole South Asian [Facebook] group got started. I hopped on a TikTok trend that went viral. It was a boyfriend application, but I wasn’t looking for a boyfriend. I was looking for a travel person who was also a brown girl. I had hundreds of comments like, “Me! I’m here! I wanna go!” And I was like, “Wait, what?” So, I created a Facebook group, and I kinda just let it do its thing. It grew to 950 [members] organically.
That eventually led to a group trip. I’m leading a trip of 14 people to Bali. Most of them are South Asian, and I imagine they are mostly from that group or TikTok. My business has taken off by itself and led me down this path. Ideally, I would love to amplify more South Asian travel creators, but also bring more diversity and representation to travel brands, like the brands I use or wear, or the airlines I work with. Their marketing collateral is not catered to be very diverse. And the people who work in the travel industry are not very diverse. I’d love to take the voices of what people who are following me are saying for people who like to travel, [I’d like] for them to find me and for me to find them.
Also, I definitely don’t want it to appear like I’m the only one who’s South Asian and traveling. It’s more of a call to find the ones that you don’t see. I just wrote an article for Fodor’s talking about 10 South Asian travel creators to be following. So, it was me, as a travel creator, talking about ten others that you should be following because they’re hard to find. I didn’t even know about them!
P: Of the 42 countries you’ve been to, which do you feel are the most underrated and misrepresented?
Ismail: Underrated, I can say the few countries I’ve been to in Africa — Zimbabwe, Zambia, Botswana, Tanzania and South Africa. I went in 2018, and there weren’t many travelers. It wasn’t packed like most of the destinations in Europe or Mexico. I went as a solo female backpacker, so I wasn’t staying at fancy resorts or safari camps. I was staying at hostels, and there were overall very minimal backpackers or solo travelers. People were shocked by the pictures I was posting, seeing the nice places and knowing what was out there. I have always said Africa is my favorite continent because it’s so untouched, and there’s so much to see.
Misrepresentation-wise, I feel like anywhere off the beaten path is deemed as a scary, dangerous place. I most recently went to El Salvador and everyone — even a couple of people from El Salvador—said, “Don’t go there. The homicide rate is so high.” I don’t doubt there are scary parts, but I find NYC to be scary. I’ve taken it that people will have their stereotypes, but I have to go for myself. Obviously, with due diligence — making sure I’m reading global advisories. But I’d say a lot of countries in South America have been deemed as unsafe, especially for a solo female.
P: What tips would you give to aspiring South Asian solo female travelers?
I: Don’t worry about what people will think. A lot of times, people will be like, “I can’t go alone. People will think I don’t have friends. People will think that’s weird. I’ll get lonely.” I honestly never feel lonely as a solo traveler because you find yourself meeting so many people. Others come up to you more because it’s less intimidating since you’re not in a group.
If you are remotely interested in traveling or going alone, and you haven’t done it, but you keep ruminating on it. Just do it! I always say, to start, it’s a little bit of preparation and then just going for it. But you don’t know until you try it. Do it for you. You need passion, but also to cover your bases. If you wouldn’t do [something] at home, definitely don’t do it in a foreign place. Above all, do the work before going.
To stay up to date with Nabila’s adventures, and for tips and content on all things travel, follow Dose of Travel on Instagram or TikTok @doseoftravel. You can also join her Facebook group.
Eid-ul-Fitr is a special holiday that marks the end of Ramadan — the month of fasting — for Muslims worldwide. Ramadan is a time of gratitude, spiritual focus, forgiveness, celebrating community and helping the needy. Eid-ul-Fitr celebrations mark the conclusion of the holy month of Ramadan.
This Ramadan, Brown Girl Magazine had the opportunity to connect with five popular immigrant moms and discuss how they make Eid celebrations meaningful and memorable for their children.
Rubab Bukhari is a busy mom of five based in Calgary, Canada. She shared that Eid, for her family, is a day of gathering with loved ones and sharing a delicious meal together as a symbol for breaking fast. “Eid is celebrated as the most joyous occasion where we put up Eid decorations and exchange gifts with everyone in the house. New clothes are made for everyone; the girls get excited about getting henna on their hands and the boys get more excited about receiving their Eidi (gifts/money).”
While many family traditions are often passed down from generation to generation, these moms have added some newer customs to the Eid celebrations, giving the festival a personal touch.
A published author, spoken word artist and dance fitness instructor, Nazhah Khawaja shares how she’s built new traditions with her two children and husband in Illinois, Chicago despite not being exposed to the “Eid flavor” herself while growing up.
“My sister suggested decorating the house for Eid with the goal of getting the kids in the holiday mood,” she said. Regardless of the exhaustion that followed due to decorating while fasting, Khawaja realized that her sister “was onto something.” She added that “kids are very visual learners and interpreters — the visual display of decorations helps them to feel the festivity more. Forever grateful to my sister for encouraging this tradition that our family has embraced.”
Another new tradition that she has embraced is celebrating Eid festivities with her husband’s family who are non-Muslim. Furthermore, she insists on taking photographs during Eid-ul-Fitr to keep memories alive because one never really knows if the people in the photos will be there next time around. She also includes that the “Eid nap is a must — which means adults are dozing off while the kids are running wild; ample heavenly chaos and beautiful noise.”
Passing down familial customs from her mother, Khawaja remembers a story she had told her of how as soon as the dawn of Eid arrived, the villagers in Pakistan walked down unpaved streets welcoming Eid with a tune: “Mubarak Eid Mubarak/ Mubarak Khair Mubarak/ Saheliyon Eid Mubarak!” Khawaja’s mother used to sing it every time. “Growing up, my siblings and I would sing this tune in our not-so-refined Urdu, giggle at one another, create our own, often goofy lyrics, and even dance silly moves,” she shared.
Meanwhile, Bengali shemai, Kashmiri kheer and ma’amoul are the favorite Eid desserts in Janan’s household! She is the founder and CEO of the publishing company, Global Bookshelves Intl., a pharmacist by profession and a mother of three young girls, based in Louisville, Kentucky. They look forward to dressing up their best for Eid prayers the most.
Likewise, Ursula Sarah Khan who is a mom influencer and an accountant by trade, said that they fill their Eid-themed gift bags with all sorts of goodies like candy, bubbles and pencils. On Eid-ul-Fitr, her eight-year-old son, Ibrahim, distributes these bags amongst the boys after Eid prayers, while her five-year-old daughter, Eliyah, hands them to the girls.
They also bake Eid cookies together in addition to swapping their Ramadan decor with Eid decor, while still in their Eid pajamas in their Northern Virginia home!
Blending older traditions with some newer ones, Sarah carries on her mother’s age-old tradition of making sheer khorma — a Pakistani dessert made with vermicelli, milk, dates and nuts — in the morning.
She also explains to her children the importance of Zakat or charity, which is what her mother taught her: “I now take this same approach with my children to ensure they have a deep understanding of the generosity Islam teaches.”
Speaking of home and family, Haffsa Rizwani — a Canadian, currently residing in Stockholm, Sweden, as a PhD candidate — said: “Living away from home, Canada, where my immediate family resides, we have a tradition of traveling from Stockholm to my aunt’s house in Oslo, Norway, every Eid. Especially to mark the celebration as a family event for my children.” Together with her aunt, Haffsa’s daughter gets her henna done and goes shopping for bangles! She goes on to explain how Eid-ul-Fitr is an opportunity to not only dress up, but also regain that morning ritual of chai and evenings with games like carrom board; “a game played till my uncle wins.”
As Rizwani so eloquently puts it, “While my children are still quite small, my daughter is now of age to appreciate and understand the meaning of gratitude, blessings, and giving back. She now has the empathy to comprehend the inequalities and injustices in the world. Ramadan is therefore a month of being thankful and making extra duas. Eid is a day of celebration with gratitude and blessings.”
What these moms wish for their children to learn from the spirit of Eid are the values of gratitude, generosity, compassion, togetherness and knowledge.
January 18, 2023January 18, 2023 9min readBy Arun S.
Aam
Neha Samdaria is the founder and CEO of Aam, a new type of fashion label. Aam’s mission is to change the way womxn with the hourglass and pear-shaped body types shop for clothing. The word Aam means ordinary in Hindi. The community consists predominantly of womxn of colour with naturally curvier hips. Aam has a low return rate of 3%. The team at Aam has built sizing charts and tested them over a 10-month period. The clothing was made with sustainable materials in ethical factories. If you are struggling to find clothes that fit appropriately check out Aam today. Continue reading to learn more about Neha Samadria’s company Aam!
What were your personal struggles with shopping for clothing that fit and how did these experiences inspire you to start a company?
I have what you would call a “pear shaped” body, meaning my hips and thighs are wider than my upper half. I’m 1-2 sizes bigger on the bottom than on the top and for years, I’ve struggled to find clothes – especially pants – that fit me correctly. Too tight on the hips? Size up. Too loose on the waist? Wear a belt. My entire life, I felt alone in my struggle. Eventually, the pant shopping experience became so unpleasant that I started avoiding them entirely – choosing to opt for dresses, skirts and stretchy leggings instead.
When I arrived at Stanford Business School in 2016, I learned that I was far from alone in my experience. 1 in 4 American women – predominantly women of color – shared my struggles. And when I dug deeper to understand why, I uncovered the bias-riddled foundation of size charts in the United States. When I learned that the fit issue was systemic and rooted in bad data, I felt inspired to do something.
You’ve had a range of experiences working in consulting, marketing, as well as completing an MBA program. How have these range of experiences helped you start a company?
On a practical level, acquiring a range of skills helps with the various hats you have to wear as a CEO. On a daily basis, I am a strategist, marketer, fulfiller, accountant and designer. But the biggest thing I feel I’ve gained is an approach to tackling new problems. One of the toughest things about being a solo Founder is that the buck stops with you. You have to have faith that even if a problem is brand new and well outside your area of expertise, you’ll be able to forge a path forward. My life before Aam gave me a lot of practice in that.
Have you faced adversity as a newcomer in this space?
The biggest adversity we’ve faced is in marketing and sales. As a bootstrapped e-commerce business with no outside investment, it’s been tough to compete with large retailers with big marketing budgets. How do you get noticed as a small brand? Through trial and error we’ve found success in niche influencers who are excited by the problem we’re solving and are keen to support, in-person markets and events, and organic, word of mouth referral. We’re also beginning to partner with marketplaces and small retailers, to expand our brand reach.
Who are some mentors and leaders you look up to and what characteristics do they possess that you sought to emulate while starting your own company?
My biggest mentors are bootstrapped entrepreneurs who built up their businesses brick by brick. My father is one such example, and I have a handful of folks in my circle who have done the same. I find their grit and scrappiness inspiring; most of them don’t have a professional degree and gained their business acumen on the field.
I also admire kind and supportive leaders; team culture is one of the most difficult things to nail, and you have to be intentional from the beginning. I had a wonderful boss at my first job out of college. He knew how to nurture the strengths of his direct reports and wasn’t afraid to task them with challenging, meaningful work. Crucially, he was always there as our safety net in case we had questions or needed help along the way. I’ve tried to build the same type of ethos within Aam.
Do you see Aam as a strong contender in the fashion industry helping a wide variety of individuals?
I do! We’re one of the only brands catering to pear and hourglass shapes, perhaps because the fit issue is so fundamental and expensive to fix (see Q7). But beyond this, we’re one of the only brands that focuses on fit – period. The entire industry – from runways to fast fashion brands – is focused largely on design, when poor fit is actually the #1 driver of returns. Aam’s return rate is just 3%, vs. an e-commerce industry standard of ~30%. We can make the industry more customer-centric and less wasteful by investing in the early steps of proper sizing and fit testing.
In terms of helping a “wide variety” of individuals, Aam is a niche brand that is committed to helping the 1 in 4 women with curvy hips and thighs. I don’t plan to expand to other shapes at this time because I believe that in order to add value, you can’t be all things to all people. Our community has been underserved for almost 100 years and we’re here for them.
What made you decide to name the company Aam?
“Aam” means “ordinary” in Hindi, my native tongue. The company’s approach to design – starting with the consumer, and designing entirely for her – runs counter to the industry. My goal with this business is to make this consumer-centric approach to design more “ordinary,” giving power back to the women who wear our clothes, and elevating their voices on a global stage.
What is the process of rethinking fit standards?
Modern size charts are based largely off of a 1939 study that surveyed 15,000 women across the U.S. This study was flawed for several reasons including: 1) it relied on bust measurements, assuming women are proportional throughout and 2) it excluded women who were not Caucasian from the final results, thereby underrepresenting body shapes that are more commonly found among women of color.
At Aam, we’ve rebuilt a fresh dataset of 314 women across the U.S. who have pear and hourglass shapes, and are using this dataset to inform all of our collections. By fixing bad data, we’re addressing the root cause of poor fit and rethinking fit standards.
Where do you feel the fashion industry can improve?
There are big opportunities for improvement in supply chain, fit and inclusion.
On the supply chain side, there’s still a long way to go when it comes to ethics and sustainability. There are great auditing standards out there (SEDEX, OEKO-TEX, GOTS, for example), but only a small percentage of factories are certified. In 2021, as I was building out my supply chain in India, I visited factories that spanned the full gamut, from regularly-audited, responsible manufacturers to those who enforced 14+ hour daily shifts and refused even chairs for their workers to sit on. Brands are engaging in conversations about diversity and inclusion but it’s often on the consumer side; few are willing to be as transparent when it comes to their supply chains, where women of color are disproportionately exploited. As consumers, one easy thing we can all do is check the Ethics & Sustainability page of the brands we love. Do they talk about certified factories, third party audits and following sustainability standards? If not, we have the power to ask – why?
I’ve shared a bit above about the issues surrounding fit – it is the single biggest driver of returns, an issue that has been plaguing retailers for decades. It’s costly, harms the environment and (in the long term) hurts your brand. I believe that investing in better upstream processes – improved size charts and more rigorous fit testing – will lead to huge improvements down the line.
And finally, inclusion. One of my pet peeves is seeing brands design styles that are clearly intended for straight shapes and small sizes and then scale them up to mid and plus sizes claiming that they now design “for all bodies.” Putting ill-fitted pieces on models of different shapes and sizes doesn’t mean you understand or care about that customer. We should be asking ourselves – what does this customer really want? How is this garment going to make her feel? How can we design FOR her, first and foremost? This is being inclusive in a real way.
As a CEO of a company what is your daily routine?
My day starts the night prior, when I write down my priorities for the upcoming day. I use this great planner by Kindred Braverly that helps break down my activities into bite size segments. I’m not a morning person and part of my team is based in India (with a flipped schedule), so I usually start my date late around 9am.
First, I workout, so I can feel like I’ve accomplished something early in the day. Then, I grab breakfast, coffee and start work around 10:30. I start with the highest priority items on my list, which can range anywhere from sales and marketing to strategic planning and design. I work in 1hr increments with 10-15 mins of break in between. During these breaks, I’ll step outside, hydrate or crank up some music and just free dance. I try to get away from a screen, so I can return to my work with fresh eyes.
I then have a hard stop from 7-9pm to spend time with my husband, and then I’ll usually squeeze in an additional hour or two of work with my India team, before heading to bed.
Early in my Founder journey, I started tracking productivity patterns during my week. For example, I’m usually less productive on Mondays than I am later in the week. So I try to schedule more interesting, strategic work early in the week in order to stay motivated. I also work a half day on Sundays, to take some of the pressure off of the following week.
As there are many companies interested in fast fashion, how does your company differ in terms of sustainable materials and ethical factories?
Responsible production is one of our brand pillars, so we think about it in each step of the process. All of our suppliers must be third-party certified for ethical working conditions from one of the leading, global certification programs (more info here).
Additionally, we use sustainable fabrics in all of our collections. For example, we work with organic cotton (vs. regular cotton), which saves water and is made without toxic pesticides. We work with new fabrics, like lyocell, that can emulate the handfeel and durability of less sustainable fibers without the environmental footprint. In our most recent collection, we introduced premium deadstock wool, which is fabric that was produced in excess by brands and would have otherwise gone to waste. We also ensure that all of our dyes are free of Azo compounds (several of which are carcinogenic) via rigorous testing.
On the production side, we rely on a combination of third-party audits as well as personal, first-party checks. I’ve spent days in each of our factories, observing the working conditions and interacting with the team.
On the packaging side, we spent a great deal of time thinking about how to recycle and reuse. Each Aam pant comes inside a reusable cotton cover, inspired by the beautiful saree covers you see in southern India. This cotton cover is placed inside a fully recyclable box, with a simple packing slip and card. There’s no excess paper, bubble wrap, or cardboard.
I’m proud of where we are in terms of ethics and sustainability – and I think we can still do better!
We would love to hear some testimonials from previous customers.
“I have paid hundreds of dollars for ‘custom fit pants’ from various brands, and none of them fit quite as well as this pant did straight out of the box.” – The Flex Waist Pant, Size S
“This pant is amazing!! It is so lightweight and breathable… the material is so soft and silky, it feels like you’re wearing PJs but they look like elegant chic work/business pants.” – The Wide Leg Pant, Size M
“Never have I ever been able to easily pull a pair of pants over my thighs. I have ALWAYS had to jump to pull my pants up comfortably. These pants are amazing.” – The Crop Pant, Size L
“I can tell these are Aam pants instantly from how they taper at the waist. No other pants do that.” – The Limited Edition Wool Wide Leg Pant, Size S
Where do you see the company expanding in terms of different types of clothing offered?
I see bottoms as the biggest area of need, so we’ll first expand to other types of bottoms or clothes with bottoms: skirts, dresses, jumpsuits, potentially underwear and swim. Then, we’ll start expanding into other categories.
What is the toughest part of running your own company?
Staying motivated and showing up every day – even the bad days. As a Founder, there’s no one to answer to, no fixed schedule, and progress can sometimes feel very slow. There are weeks where I feel frustrated because I keep missing targets. Other weeks, we get a string of wins. It’s important to detach myself from both types of outcomes (wins and losses) and take neither very personally. This helps me commit instead to the process and just focus on the next small step forward.
But, easier said than done!
Lastly, what do you hope individuals take away from this interview with Brown Girl Magazine?
I’ve read Brown Girl Magazine for years and am so honored to be featured. I hope folks reading this feel inspired to tackle whatever problem – small or large – that they understand innately. Personal experience is a powerful motivator and difficult for others to replicate.
August 26, 2023August 26, 2023 4min readBy Shriya Verma
Both of my parents were born and raised in Bihar, India. They dated for a few years before getting married and moving to the United States, where they had me and my two older brothers. To our house in the States, they brought some remnants of home with them: old filmy Hindi music that always echoed in the background, my mom’s masala chai recipe that still entrances anyone who catches even a whiff of it, and a love for dance in any and every form.
They tried their best to fill our lives with as much cultural celebration and ritual as they could, but despite their genuine attempts to keep us rooted, being a product of the South Asian diaspora was complicated.
Growing up, my relationship with my culture looked very different throughout distinct stages of my life. Despite being a diaspora kid, I had a unique experience in that when I was four years old, my family packed up our lives in California and moved to my parent’s hometown in Bihar. We lived there for almost three years, and for each of those three years, I absorbed every ounce of India like a sponge. I learned how to speak Hindi fluently (along with some cuss words). I tried the classic Bihari street food — litti chokha — and watched how it was masterfully made over hot charcoal. I observed Chhathpooja, a Hindu festival dedicated to the solar deity, unique to the northeastern region of India. I developed an unhealthy addiction to chocolate Horlicks and Parle-G biscuits. I even tried, but ultimately failed, to master cricket. But sadly, all of that cultural immersion was short-lived and eventually came to an end. When I was seven, my family moved back to California.
Working with the cards we were dealt, my family still tried to stay connected to our heritage in whichever way we could. Our weekends were filled with trips to the mandir and Nina’s Indian Groceries. Festivals like Diwali and Holi were always embraced with parties and poojas. During Navratri season especially, my best friend Camy and I would dress up in matching lehengas and dance with dandiya sticks so forcefully that they would literally break in half.
Within our microcosm of a world, I never once paused to think about how I would carry these traditions forward.
It wasn’t until college, when I was trying to navigate who I was outside of my family unit for the first time, that I began to ruminate on my independent relationship with my culture. I didn’t have the structure of my family and childhood home to reiterate and reverberate Bihari traditions, Hindu customs, the Hindi language, or my family history. How would I embody them henceforth? Would I be able to make my ancestors proud?
My college roommates and I used to joke that despite us all being Indian Americans, we all spoke different mother tongues: Hindi, Tamil, Kannada, Bengali, and Telugu. This obviously made it tough to engage with our languages, even though we still made our best attempts. I learned how to read and write in Hindi during my senior year of college, but my skills are still rusty and elementary at best. Without continuous exposure and practice, I’m scared that one day I’ll lose the ability entirely.
As a child of immigrants, out of the context of my motherland, I find myself grappling with guilt or fear of losing touch with my roots. It can feel that with every passing generation, pieces of my culture may slowly diminish or get lost in translation. Bits of wisdom that are so niche and particular that, once I forget them, who will be there to remind me?
As I’m scouring the web for hair rejuvenation remedies and get overwhelmed by the surplus of opinions, I get frustrated that I can’t remember which ayurvedic oil is better for hair regeneration: Amla or coconut? If I catch a cold and need to make my nani’s cure-all tulsi chai recipe, I cross my fingers and hope that I’ve gotten all of the ingredients and measurements right. When I seem to be trapped in a continuous cycle of ebbs and want to consult my Vedic astrological chart for some insight, I find myself lost trying to navigate the implications of Shani and the meaning behind my houses.
It took a lot of time and reflection to let go of feelings of guilt attached to this notion of preservation. This isn’t to say that this process isn’t continuously ongoing. But, what I’ve ultimately reconciled, is that as a diaspora kid, I’m creating something that is true and unique to my nuanced experience as an Indian American.
Usha Jey, a South Asian-born and raised in Paris, recently fused urban and Bharatnatyam dance forms to create “Hybrid Bharatnatyam.” This dance form so perfectly encapsulates the blending of culture. As a dancer who grew up performing urban choreo with a mix of Bollywood, this fusion of East and West was such a validating thing to see. Dance has always been a medium through which I’ve been able to connect with my American and Indian identities. A lot of my childhood was spent performing Bollywood routines at temple events or Neema Sari showcases. In high school, I was introduced to competitive urban dance and fell in love. Excited to give my teammates a peek into my culture, I choreographed and taught an urban-Bollywood piece to the classic “Sheila ki Jawani” that we ended up performing at our annual showcase. Similarly, artists like MEMBA and Abhi the Nomad subtly weave nostalgic Indian sounds into their electronic and hip-hop music to create something entirely unique. As someone navigating both of these worlds, their music tugs at my duality. When I lived in San Francisco, during the festival of Diwali, I would cook up a feast and host all of my friends from diverse cultures and backgrounds to eat, do rangoli on the roof, and light sparklers. While that may not have been a traditional celebration, it was my cliff notes version of Diwali that I was giddy to share with my community.
Historically speaking, in any culture, there are traditions and customs that will be safeguarded until the end of time, but on that same note, there will be so much of culture that will evolve and soon look different. And maybe embracing that is something beautiful in and of itself.
While I’m still navigating my connection to my motherland, heritage, and roots, I’m allowing myself the grace to see that elements of them may manifest themselves differently in my life and the community of culture surrounding me. And while I may be creating something unique to my own identity, I still hope to honor the traditions and customs of those who came before me.
